This morning i woke up late, and my mum kejutkan sebab biasanya i bangun awal. Badan penat sangat, mmg rasa tak larat. Kalau tak fikirkan hari ni i kena handle program gotong royong sempena restructuring FMD, mmg terasa mcm nak ambil urgent leave jer.
I lambat sket react, and my mum terus cakap " Iena, kalau mcm ni effect belajar part time sampai boleh jejaskan kerja, baik jangan terus belajar mcm ni. Berhenti jer!"
I was so shocked to listen to that. And i am sad. Really sad.
I can bear if that sentence was coming from other people, but not from my mum. From a person who is very close to me. From a person who i think and i hope could support me from the back in order for me to continue my studies.
The same situation happened to me when i mentioned to her that i want to join Nisa'. My mum did not favor much. And i cried a lot dlm bas sepanjang i balik kampung one day after my mum said that she wanted me to quit from joining Nisa'.
Continuing my studies and joining Nisa' are the things that i want to do just for the sake of Islam, nothing else. And for that, i received unfavourable response from someone that i love so much.
Sad, terribly sad.
Sekarang ni tengah tabahkan hati jer. Apa lagi yang boleh dibuat. Kalau nak kata dedua perkara tu senang, mmg tak senang langsung. Tak tidur malam buat assignment, sacrifice weekends utk pergi kelas dan belajar. Memang tak senang.
Apa pun, it was not my mum's fault. That was my fault for not explaning to her why i did all these. My mum is the best person in my life and i love her very much regardless of whatever things she ever done or said as nothing could be compared to her sacrifice and contributions untuk melahirkan dan mendidik anak-anaknya sehingga kami berjaya sampai ke tahap ini. And i really appreciate and thankful to Allah for that. She is like our friend at home where we can share a lot of things together. I don't want to blame her for what she had said to me this morning. If i could manage my time better, then perhaps whatever she said to me this morning will never come out from her mouth.
Alrite guys, lega sket biler dah luah perasaan :) Nak move to Arabic class. See ya later k.