Monday, July 26, 2004

sEDiH

Assalamualaikum wbt,

This morning i woke up late, and my mum kejutkan sebab biasanya i bangun awal. Badan penat sangat, mmg rasa tak larat. Kalau tak fikirkan hari ni i kena handle program gotong royong sempena restructuring FMD, mmg terasa mcm nak ambil urgent leave jer.

I lambat sket react, and my mum terus cakap " Iena, kalau mcm ni effect belajar part time sampai boleh jejaskan kerja, baik jangan terus belajar mcm ni. Berhenti jer!"

I was so shocked to listen to that. And i am sad. Really sad.

I can bear if that sentence was coming from other people, but not from my mum. From a person who is very close to me. From a person who i think and i hope could support me from the back in order for me to continue my studies.

The same situation happened to me when i mentioned to her that i want to join Nisa'. My mum did not favor much. And i cried a lot dlm bas sepanjang i balik kampung one day after my mum said that she wanted me to quit from joining Nisa'.

Continuing my studies and joining Nisa' are the things that i want to do just for the sake of Islam, nothing else. And for that, i received unfavourable response from someone that i love so much.

Sad, terribly sad.

Sekarang ni tengah tabahkan hati jer. Apa lagi yang boleh dibuat. Kalau nak kata dedua perkara tu senang, mmg tak senang langsung. Tak tidur malam buat assignment, sacrifice weekends utk pergi kelas dan belajar. Memang tak senang.

Apa pun, it was not my mum's fault. That was my fault for not explaning to her why i did all these. My mum is the best person in my life and i love her very much regardless of whatever things she ever done or said as nothing could be compared to her sacrifice and contributions untuk melahirkan dan mendidik anak-anaknya sehingga kami berjaya sampai ke tahap ini. And i really appreciate and thankful to Allah for that. She is like our friend at home where we can share a lot of things together. I don't want to blame her for what she had said to me this morning. If i could manage my time better, then perhaps whatever she said to me this morning will never come out from her mouth.

Alrite guys, lega sket biler dah luah perasaan :) Nak move to Arabic class. See ya later k.

Wassalam.






6 comments:

Muslim said...

kewl

IeNa said...

Actually i want to take out this posting this very early morning, mcm jahat jer cerita pasal ibu kat sini. Tapi dah ada org baca pulak :)

My mum is simply the best ok, i hope i dun create any misperception of the viewers towards her :)

Hany FF said...

Bila kita ada niat untuk buat sesuatu pekerjaan yang baik...pasti ujian akan ada. Ujian bukan untuk mematikan usaha, bukan jua tanda matinya jalan di hadapan. Harapan utk kejayaan pasti ada andainya usaha diteruskan...dengan penuh komitmen dan kesabaran.

Mehnah dalam perjuangan kehidupan ini...adalah manis, bila tibanya hari perhitungan kelak...andai kita hadapinya dengan ikhlas dan tabah.
:)
Siti boleh!!! :D

ieka said...

I think for most MUM(if possible for me to say every mum, but certainly some mum did not really have the attitude as a mum in themselves) wish the best for their children. Cuma caranya sahaja yg berbeza2 menunjukkan kasih sayang dan betapa dia betul2 prihatin/care ttg anak2 dia: samada dia beri support utk anak die get thru dgn meneruskan sesuatu atau dia berharap anak dia dpt kurangkan bebanan tu dgn melepaskan sesuatu. In this case, I believe your mum is sympathy with u and she does not want u to feel burden with ur current situation. It is not that she does not trust u, it is just that she feel u take urself too hard. Apa pun, as Hany mentioned nak berjaya byk dugaan. Maybe u can slowly talk to her about ur dreams and your interest in what u are doing, and maybe u can tell her as well that although u feel tired but it won't break ur spirit.. and all u want from her is her support. For every mother, they always pray their children are in good shape.. Cheers up, friend!

cPoL said...

"Dialah Allah yang menurunkan ketenangan ke dalam hati orang-orang yang beriman..." (al-Fath:4)

Mungkin belum sampai masanya lagi... bersabarlah, setiap yang baik itu pasti ada UJIAN untuk menilai keikhlasan dan kesabaran kita ;)

IeNa said...

Syukran for all of your support :)

Alhamdulillah rasa gundah tidak lama, sedang berkejar-kejaran antara kerja class presentation dan kelas Arab tak membenarkan perasaan tu hinggap lama di hati. Lebih banyak kepada perasaan risau (ada chance nak dapat heart attack cepat nih :)

Kita kena kuat semangat, apa pun kita kena kuat dalam apa jer kerja yang kita nak lakukan. Kalau tak kita akan gagal di tengah jalan.

Ana sedang memperkasakan hati insya-Allah :)

Jazakumullah atas sokongan kalian, what a bless from Allah to grant me kind of friends like you all are. Alhamdulillah wa subhanallah :)