Sunday, February 29, 2004

Bertemu lagi

Assalamualaikum wbt,

It's been quite a long time i have not update this blog..too much commitments to be prioritized before this blog :)

Di sepanjang past 1 week, i was so miserable....not due to my hectic schedule solely, but with my emotional and inner self as well. I had became someone strange even to myself. But alhamdulillah at this very moment, i gain back my real self. And become stronger...

This afternoon, my sis invited me too swim near at my house. Yeah rite, i have to wear swimming suit kalau nak terjun kolam. Seriously, swimming is one of my favourites to do if i have chance to do so. Kalau tak fikirkan iman, mmg setuju ajer ikut my sis. Tapi takkan nak buat,kan? Melepaskan pakaian dan membuka aurat di depan org ramai? Hish..tak mampu nak buat skang ni. Dulu waktu kecil2 bolehlah nak selamba jer kot hehe.

I've got a lot to say, tapi byk sgt and tak mampu nak diluahkan dgn kata-kata. Tgklah kalau rajin, i'll post. Skang ni mcm terasa malas nak blog coz i'm someone yg cepat rasa bosan dgn sesuatu benda. Tak pernah nak stay lama. So tgklah sampai biler blog ni boleh bertahan k ;)

Next week nak ke Penang about 1 week. So my blog akan berehat selama 1 week jugaklah..later guys..need to complete my tasks first.

Wassalam.


Kiranya aku ini
mampu mengubah masa silam
pasti aku sudah
mengubah haluan hidupku
yang sering tersasar

Kiranya aku ini
mampu mengubah hati
yang lemah
sering terpedaya ini
pasti aku sudah
mengubah ia
menjadi hati
yang lembut menghadap Tuhan
tapi waja menghadap syaitan

Kiranya aku ini
mampu mengubah diri
menjadi insan
cemerlang di dunia sana
akan kucuba
walau perit
menghadap duka

Mampukah?



Tuesday, February 24, 2004

Mengoreksi Diri

Assalamualaikum wbt,

Hari ni dimulakan dgn pagi yg sibuk, Tn Hj nakkan pencalonan R&R untuk Exec and Manager terbaik for HR nominations. Pastu analyze bil pelanggan kat Penang thru Brains, pastu update Fraud Account. Aaaaa, byknya keje yg tak settle lagi.

For about 2 days Ika and i were at Siha's house. Lepak sana after went to Kak Sity's wedding hehe. Kat umah Siha kitorang pegi memancing ikan, dpt ler beberapa ekor ikan siakap and lampam. Siha masak lauk ikan yg kitorang tangkap, best best hehe. Balik dr Taiping, boleh pulak bas rosak kat terowong Jelapang, 3 jam stuck kat tol Jelapang. Tiring and i had to let go my Arabic class since we arrived here last nite at 8 something p.m. My class starts at 8 p.m.Mmg tak sempat nak catch. Dahlaa last Wed tak pergi sbb ada program kat Seremban, rugi betul.

I was so tense thinking about my program kat Penang scheduled on this becoming Wed and Thurs sepanjang stuck kat tol Jelapang tu, last last i SMSed my manager requested for postponement becoz i didn't ready at all nak pegi Penang hari ni. Dgn CNO yg tak konfem contact sana, takkan nak pegi sesuka hati. Dahlah jauh. Tunda buat next week. I've got a lot to be completed within this week. And i can't afford to let them go just becoz i've got to go to Penang today. Just can't.

Hati akan tenang dgn mengingat Allah. I feel that i'm quite far from Him nowadays. Tak pelihara diri dr dosa, tak spend masa nak menjengah Quran, sibuk dgn aktiviti-aktiviti leisure n kerja yg tak berkesudahan. Sampai bila nak jadi camni? Sampai matahari terbit di sebelah Barat, atau sampai nafas terakhir tersangkut di kerongkong?

Think and revise. Berhijrah dan beristiqamah. That's what we should do.

Kerana apa?

Kerana kita tak selamanya menongkat dunia. Di dunia sana Allah menunggu kita menghadapNya. Semoga ada bekalan diri yang tersisa.

"Pelihara kami di dunia dan akhirat Ya Allah, moga kami menjadi di kalangan mereka yang beruntung"

Wassalam.

Wednesday, February 18, 2004

Menunggu ketika

Assalamualaikum wbt,

Now waiting for jeep En. Khalid sampai ofis, so i take the chance to write something in here. Supposedly pukul 2 tadi dah bertolak ke Seremban, tapi tetiba Tn Hj nakkan laptop dia dihantar ke Menara. So kena tunggu jeep sampai sini dulu.

This morning ada talk given by Change Mgmt Office pasal Culture Leadership Initiative, bersekali dgn Farah and Azni. This program is about assisting and assessing TM leaders. I've assigned to CE R&D TM, kat UPM. Balik ofis terus kena panggil by my manager En. Budi. Topik perbincangan kami more on politik di tempat kerja. He claimed that when i join this program, i'll learn the bad culture of TM so he wanted me to get prepared to face the bad side of TM.

Hmm..what to say then? I just keep quiet and went to my place straight away after that. Actually malas nak ambil tahu what are the bad cultures of TM sebenarnya. I think kat mana2 organization pun mmg ada bad side of it, be it political, operational or financial aspects. So be it, and i dun care!! Hahaha, jahat giler statement ni hehe.

We'll seelah nanti camner. I'll just go with the flow i guess. Sekarang ini i'm not that motivated to think and propose any possible changes on existing culture of TM. Perhaps once my assessment starts, i'll think of it.

OK, jeep dah ready utk bergerak ke Seremban.

Berjumpa kembali on this Friday insya-Allah :)

Wassalam.

Tuesday, February 17, 2004

Presentation

Assalamualaikum wbt,

Skang ni sdg bertelekung di depan pc menunggu solat Maghrib, malam ni kena balik lambat sket sbb dah 2 hari tinggalkan keje utk join workshop JPPF.

Esok nak ke Seremban and stay there for 3 days sbb ada presentation, and next week berkemungkinan besar akan ke Penang sbb ada technical visit. Berserabut kepala biler buat kerja pelbagai cabang ni. System nak kena cater, customer nak kena cater, legal matters pun nak kena cater. Ntah mana satu fokus nak diberikan pun tak tau sebenarnya.

Esok akan ada briefing pasal Culture Transformation Initiative TM organized by Change Management Office kol 9.30 pagi, briefing utk selected young executives utk assist TM leaders. Ok jugak sebenarnya, boleh tgk camner TM leaders buat keje, hopefully dapat leader yg best.

Hari ni best coz my group (Kak Fidah, Keirul, Abg Is and me) presented our analysis on our pattern detection for our system. Kira paling gempak among the others hehe. Yg lain Tn Hj kata dia blur, ngan group kitorang jer dia kata nampaklah bayang2 sket hehe.Best best. Tapi hadiah utk kumpulan terbaik kami kongsi ramai2 sbb hadiah satu jer, which is good sbb nampaklah Tn Hj adil. Hadiah satu jer, so kalau satu kumpulan jer yg dpt, kesian kumpulan2 lain.

Tu jer kot nak cakap. Malam ni nak kena revise presentation sbb malas nak rasa saiko lagi utk buat presentation mcm kat Sabah dulu. 2 malam tak tidur sbb menghafal n takut nak bagi presentation. 2 pagi juga tak lalu nak breakfast kat hotel tu sbb sibuk mengingat fakta. Mengalahkan org nak ambik SPM! Terdaya nak minum fresh orange n satu muffin jer padahal punyerlah byk makanan lain yg best2 kat hotel tu.

First time bagi presentation kat berpuluh2 org internal staff and customers dlm sesi berlainan, maunya tak takut. Dlm English pulak tu for 1 hour! Cuba bayangkan..1 HOUR in English!! Tapi after dah habis presentation kat Sabah, kira mcm dah confident sket nak buat presentation kat Sarawak. Waktu first presentation tu, mmg takut tapi buat2 selamba jer present, tapi yg kelakarnya managers n Midun boleh kata bagus pulak after dah habis present! Alhamdulillah :)

Oklah, nak solat maghrib dulu, wassalam :)

Link best --> http://www.b4death.com/fla/never.swf. Nice song :)

Monday, February 16, 2004

Hati tersenyum riang

Assalamualaikum wbt,

Hehe..hari ni daku menjadi sedikit jahat ;)

For today and tomorrow, i'll have special bengkel for JPPF. We'll be provided breakfast, lunch and minum petang. Today, i didn't get my portion of lunch becoz sibuk main dam dgn Midun kat MSN. Tulah, padan muka..saper suh main. Org pegi makan, dia pegi main. Terpaksalaa beli food kat canteen.

Actually skang ni tgh happy, di dalam kebosanan dan ke'monotonous'an hidup ini, alhamdulillah masih ada perkara yg menggirangkan hati, alhamdulillah :)

Malam ni ada Arabic, satu page pun tak bukak lagi. Khamis ni ada presentation di Seremban and next week ada technical visit di Penang. Aaaa...kehidupanku yg makin sibuk dan perlukan perancangan yg rapi di awal-awal tahun ini *sigh*

Kerja banyak dr dulu, tapi i'm happy coz takdelah terasa makan gaji buta sgt. Last year mmg serius terasa kerja takde makna sbb takde direction. Ntah haper2 jer rasanya. Alhamdulillah i have better manager now, need to work smart and learn as much as possible *smile*

ok..nak solat Zuhur dulu.

Before i go, i want to say sorry for someone that i know she'll understand whom i referring to..sorry for being so stern and left you behind for my program on Saturday. I didn't mean to left, tapi dlm kelam kabut nak mengejar masa utk makan and solat, terus pergi tanpa inform. Pastu terlupa terus sampai petang. I know you were hurt becoz i didn't call you back, and turned down your request to meet after the game (becoz i was in my auntie's car heading home during that call being made). I'm so sorry if you get hurt by me. Really didn't mean it at all.

Guess why i don't talk directly to her and request for an apology? Coz...i'm not someone who can praise or request forgiveness directly in front of someone's face..i just can't. And she knew it that i can't. Hopefully she'll understand why i say sorry in here rather than talking directly to her.

Get to go, wassalam.

~Sahabat adalah salah satu harta yang bernilai dlm kehidupan~.

Friday, February 13, 2004

Dugaan

Petang ini dikisahkan di dalam berita,
seorang budak perempuan berketurunan Tajik
Dibunuh beramai-ramai
menggunakan pisau tajam dan belantan
Apakah salahnya?
Hanya kerana dia bergelar Islam?

Kubaca lagi
Paderi Israel mengalu-alukan paderi kristian
untuk memurtadkan saudara-saudara Islam
dari masjid ke masjid.

Isu tudung mengenai Singapura dan Tantawi
Integrasi dan perkauman dijadikan alasan

Ya Allah
Banyaknya dugaan
Semoga kuat hati hamba-hambaMu ini
dalam meniti kehidupan
yang akan mendatang

Sabarlah saudara-saudaraku
yang sedang menahan derita
mahupun yang sedang berjuang
kiranya dunia ini
umpama penjara bagi org2 mukmin
maka berbahagialah kamu
yang sedang diuji
tanda kasih sayangNya
yang masih terlempar
ke atas diri

Diriku bagaimana?
Tidak diuji dengan begitu payah
namun masih menangis
umpama dunia ini
hampir kiamat lakunya
tidak segankah?


Thursday, February 12, 2004

Mengemis Kasih

Tuhan
Dulu pernah
aku menagih simpati
kepada manusia
yang alpa jua buta

lalu terheretlah
aku di lorong gelisah
luka hati yang berdarah
kini jadi kian parah

semalam sudah sampai
ke penghujungnya
kisah seribu duka
kuharap sudah berlalu
tak ingin lagi
kuulangi kembali
jerat dosa yang menghiris hati

(1)
Tuhan
dosaku menggunung tinggi
tapi rahmatMu melangit luas
harga selautan syukurku
hanyalah setitis
nikmatMu di bumi

Tuhan
walau taubat sering kumungkir
tapi pengampunanMu
tak pernah bertepi
bila selangkah
kurapat padaMu
seribu langkah
Kau rapat padaku

Ulang (1)

Allah 2x

Mengemis kasih by Raihan

Wednesday, February 11, 2004

Gratitude

Assalamualaikum wbt,

Pagi ini dimulakan dengan senyuman, walaupun di hati sedikit terkesan dengan catatan Ika and Mudin semalam. Come on Ika, you are strong enough to face all the challenges, aren't you? :) And Mudin, verily berjemaah di dalam membuat sesuatu itu penting. I'm highly agree for what you have raised in your blog. We need to be together in unity in order to achieve our matlamat regardless in what field and for what purpose.

Last nite Ika, Mizie and I had a great dinner at Mc D, enjoying our Prosperity Burger and Vanilla Coke. Brought Mizie for a tour at our office, and went back together after that. Myself mmg langkah kanan betul biler Mizie datang hehe. Hanya kami bertiga sajer yg tau kenapa (can't reveal to anyone becoz have been asked to keep my mouth shut by Ika hehe).

Today i would like to touch on the matter of gratitude.

Why gratitude? Why not other things? Perhaps we could analyze ourselves, have we grateful enough for whatever happened and received by us in our lives? Have we performed as what required and requested by Allah in showing our gratitude for whatever He had given to us? I believe all of us have great circles of family and friends, good education, decent life to be enjoyed, enough dough to buy and serve meals, and everything is in good shape i believe insya-Allah. Does Allah deserve to get our respect and thankfulness for whatever He had provide us? Of course yes, eventhough He does not need it becoz He does not rely on His creations in any aspect, without us He is still The Almighty. We are individually nothing to be compared to this huge world of His creations, especially if we don't act and behave as mukminun, becoming worse than animals as a matter of facts in Quran!Na'uzubillahi min zalik.

For whatever sadness or complaints, face it with sabar. It's true that SABAR itu susah ( as depicted from my friend's blog), tapi payah itu juga satu nikmat yang perlu kita syukuri, isn' it? Be thankful for what we have and what we don't have, for it become a proof that we redha on Allah and with that we hope that Allah juga akan redha pada kita.

Again, mari berjemaah di dalam menegakkan Islam di dalam diri, dan juga masyarakat umumnya. Moga diberikan kelapangan di dalam mencapai matlamat abadi di dunia sana.

Wassalam.

**********************************************************************************************

What is Thankfulness?

In Islamic terminology, Thankfulness is the acknowledgment of the fact that Allâh is the only Grantor of graces, and full submission to Allâh in a way that assures that acknowledgment. The graces (favors) of Allâh are endless and countless. Allâh says in His Book:
"And if you were to count the blessings of Allâh, you will never be able to count them." {Sûrah Ibraîim (14): 34}
He, the All Mighty also says:

"And whatever blessings and good you have, it is from Allâh .." {Sûrah an-Nahl, (16): 53}



How can a servant (Abd) thank Allâh?

{The word ‘slaves’ represents mankind, for all of mankind are expected to totally submit to the will of Allâh}The servant can thank Allâh in many ways. These include:

Prostrating to Allâh, when the servant receives a blessing from Allâh or when Allâh saves him from a disaster. The Messenger of Allâh (salAllâhu alaihi wasallam) used to prostrate to Allâh whenever he received a pleasant thing or was told good news. This prostration is conducted for the sole purpose of giving thanks to Allâh, the Granter of the grace and benefit that the servant received. [see Fiqh as-Sunnah by Sayyid Sabiq (English trans.) vol.2, p.45]

Abdur-Rahmân ibn 'Auf relates that the Messenger of Allâh (sAllâhu alayhi wasallam) went out once and he followed him until he entered a grove of palm trees and prostrated. His prostration was so long that 'Abdur-Rahmân feared that Allâh had taken his soul. 'Abdur-Rahmân came to look at him and he raised his head and said: "What is wrong, Abdur-Rahmân'?" Abdur Rahmân mentioned what had happened, and he (sallAllâhu alaihi wa-sallam) said: "Gibra'el came to me and said: 'Shall I not give you glad tidings'? Allâh says to you, Whoever prays upon you, I pray upon him. Whoever salutes you, I salute him.' Therefore, I prostrated to Allâh in thanks." {This is related by Ahmad and by Al-Hâkim who says: "It is sahih according to the criterion of al-Bukhâri and Muslim}


Thanking Allâh in words: The majority of the scholars agreed that if the servant does not thank Allâh for the grace he has, then that grace will go away and may never come back. Allâh's Messenger (sAllâhu alayhi wasallam) said: "It is a fine thing when a believer praises and thanks Allâh if good comes to him, and praises Allâh and shows endurance if smitten by affliction. The believer is rewarded for everything, even for the morsel he raises to his wife's mouth." {Bayhaqi transmitted it in Shu'ab al-Iman. Sunan at-Tirmidhî no.1733 See also Sahîh Muslim (7138)}

Talking about the benefits Allâh has granted him. This is because concealing the benefits of Allâh is ungrateful. Allâh says in the Qur’ân: "Do they believe in the false deities and deny the favor of Allâh." {Sûrah an-Nahl (16):72} Ibn Kathîr commented that denying the favors of Allâh means hiding his grants and/or relating them to others than Allâh.
Narrated by Zaid bin Khâlid Al Juhani : The Prophet led us in the Fajr prayer at Hudaibiya after a rainy night. On completion of the prayer, he faced the people and said, "Do you know what your Lord has said (revealed)?" The people replied, "Allâh and His Apostle know better." He said, "Allâh has said, 'In this morning some of my slaves remained as true believers and some became non-believers; whoever said that the rain was due to the Blessings and the Mercy of Allâh had belief in Me and he disbelieves in the stars, and whoever said that it rained because of a particular star had no belief in Me but believes in that star." {Sahîh al-Bukhâri (1:807)}


Helping people in need. It was mentioned in a Hadîth of Prophet Muhammad (sAllâhu alayhi wasallam) that: "As the grants from Allâh to a servant increase, so will the people's needs of that blessed servant's services. If the servant ignores their needs, it will cause those grants to be removed" (lbn Hibban) The Prophet (sAllâhu alayhi wasallam) said, "If anyone strokes an orphan's head, doing so only for Allâh's sake, he will have blessings for every hair over which his hand passes; and if anyone treats well an orphan girl or boy under his care, he and I shall be like these two in Paradise," putting two of his fingers together." {Sunan at-Tirmidhî no.4974}

Why does the servant not thank Allâh?


The servant may not thank Allâh for several reasons:

The servant may be unaware of the general grants that were bestowed by Allâh on the creatures. Many people wrongly think that money is the only thing to be considered and ignore the other general grants such as hearing, vision, sanity and health. The Prophet (sAllâhu alayhi wasallam) said, "There are two blessings which many people lose: (They are) health and free time for doing good." {Sahîh al-Bukhâri vol 8: 421}
آishah, the Prophet's wife said: " Whenever a servant drinks a drop of water which gets into his body and leaves it with no harm, then a thanks is due."

A man came to a good Muslim and complained that Allâh made him very poor. The good man said: "Would you like to have ten thousand dinars and be insane?" The Complainer answered: "No." The good man said: "Would you like to have ten thousand dinars but have your legs chopped off" The complainer answered: "No." The good man then said: "Aren't you ashamed of yourself complaining about your Lord while all of these grants which are His; have been bestowed on you?"


The servant may not give thanks to his Lord because he is unaware of the people who have less bounties than him. . This is mentioned in a Hadîth in Sahîh Muslim, that: Allâh's Messenger (sAllâhu alayhi wasallam) said, "Look at those people who have less than you and never look at those who have more grants than you, this will ensure that you will not depreciate Allâh's grants." {Sahîh Muslim no.1530}
At times of hardship, one should turn his eyes towards a person who owns less worldly things than him. He will then be calmed and his ungratefulness will disappear. One will then thank his Lord and say: "Thanks to Allâh who has guarded me against the harm which He has afflicted others, and who has chosen not to afflict me" {Sunan at-Tirmidhî }


The servant may not give thanks to his Lord because he is unaware of Allâh's names, attributes and laws. The real ignorant person is the one who gets deceived by the amount of money he has or by his position or his power. He forgets the fact that as Allâh has granted, He may also take the blessings away. Allâh says in His Book, "Say, O Allâh! Lord of Power (and Rule) You give Power to whom You will and You take away power from whom You will, and you endue with honor whom you will, and humiliate who you will. In Your Hand is the good. Verily, You are Able to do all things." {Sûrah al-Imrân (3):26}

When does Allâh take His grants away from His servants?
When one commits sins: The Messenger of Allâh (sAllâhu alayhi wasallam) said, "The servant will be deprived a provision because he committed a sin" (Musnad Ahmed)
On the other hand, fearing Allâh causes His provisions to come forth, Allâh says in the Qur’ân: "And whoever fears Allâh and keeps his duty to Him, Allâh will make way for him out of every difficulty, And He will provide for him from sources he never imagined" {Sûrah at-Talaq (65):2-3}


When the servant relates the grants to himself and does not acknowledge that Allâh is their Grantor as Qaroon (a tyrannical king mentioned in the Qur'aan al-Qasas (28): 78 ) said: "This has been given to me only because of knowledge I possess." Consequently. his punishment was, "So We caused the earth to swallow him and his dwelling place. Then he had no group or party to help him against Allâh." {Sûrah al-Qasas (28): 81}


When the servant does not give Zakaat. The Messenger of Allâh (sAllâhu alayhi wasallam) said, "Indeed Allâh the Most High said, 'We have sent down the wealth for the prayer to be established and that Zakât be given; and if the son of آdam had a valley, he would love to have a second; if he had two valleys, he would love to have a third, and nothing will fill the belly of the son of آdam except dust …" {Musnad Ahmed & at-Tabarânî. Sahîh al-Jâmi, no.1777}

So the money is actually Allâh's money, and we have been entrusted with it. And he (sAllâhu alayhi wasallam) said, "Do not shut your money bag; otherwise Allâh too will withhold His blessings from you. Spend (in Allâh's cause) as much as you can afford. " {Sahîh al-Bukhâri 2/515}

The Prophet of Allâh (sAllâhu alayhi wasallam) also said, "Do not withhold your money by counting it (i.e. hoarding it), (for if you did so), Allâh would also withhold His blessings from you." {Sahîh al-Bukhâri vol.2: 514}


When the servant of Allâh becomes arrogant due to the large amount of money he has. If the person feels superior to other people, and his wealth becomes his only business, if he talks about it and only about it wherever he goes, and forgets to remember Allâh and praise Him; if he starts evaluating people based on their wealth, then Allâh will remove his grants. Allâh says in the Qur’ân: "Woe to every slanderer and back biter. Who has gathered wealth and counted it. He thinks that his wealth will make last forever. Nay! Verily, he will be thrown into the crushing fire." {Sûrah al-Humazah (104):1-4}

And finally there is no better example for us than the Messenger of Allâh (sAllâhu alayhi wasallam) who used to offer night prayers till his feet became swollen. Somebody said to him, "Allâh has forgiven you, your faults of the past and those to follow." On that, he said, "Shouldn't I be a thankful slave (of Allâh)?" {Sahîh al-Bukhâri vol.6: 360}

Source : Islamic Networks





Friday, February 06, 2004

Think Seriously

Assalamualaikum wbt,

Yesterday i didn't update my blog due to my hectic schedule of handling 2 meetings, one with Credit Management Division and one with Legal Division. Ended up i had slight pening di kepala hehe. Bayangkan an Accounting grad kena belajar legal terms and stuff, kena tau Act tu and Act ini, kena membezakan Civil and Criminal case, maunya tak pening :)

Today i had lunch with Hany and Ika, and we talked about pursuing studies. Ika left then for she wanted to buy ikan peliharaan as her pet, leaving Hany and me chatting about our plans.

As the discussion goes, i'm talking to myself...what i want to be in life actually? Just becoz i am stuck in Fraud Management Division and do not performing accounting works, that doesn't mean that i shall lost control of my life to be whoever i want to be. But seriously, i do not know what i wanna be, it seems blur to me becoz i know my chance to be an accountant is quite low. My AGM is someone who is very very strict on the issue of letting any one of FMD staff transfers to other departments. He won't approve, and the only ideal time to leave is when your service period in this department reaches 4-5 years. Can i still make it to be an accountant after 5 years performing in non-accounting division? Absolutely not.

So, what should i do and go from here? Let my life directions and fate merely controlled by situations? Of course not. I really hate that concept, and rite now i think the wisest thing to do instead of grumbling or whatsoever is accept whatever you have now, and start to plan for your own future and betterment. And that is what i'm doing now by sitting MBA insya-Allah in this June. It's just that i do not know where am i heading to..to be what? who? when? how? and will be continued by other questions endlessly i would say.

It's time for me to take my life seriously now, for today and for future. No more become a young hopeless wavering person in life. Need to be independent in whatever i do, with help from Allah of course. Hmm..just pray for my success k, my dreams are not that much, and i'm not seeking much either. I just want to be a simple, decent person who has a meaningful and beautiful life. That's all i want, for now and in the Hereafter, insya-Allah.

Just want to say thank you very much to someone who had supported me yesterday when i was down. Really appreciate your effort to calm me down. May Allah bless you for whatever you have done :)

Alrite, need to go. Till fingers meet keyboard again k.

Wassalam.

Wednesday, February 04, 2004

Theatre

Assalamualaikum wbt,

Byk perkara yang mahu diceritakan, mahu ditangiskan, mahu diketawakan, mahu disenyumkan..tapi kebanyakannya hanya mampu terzahir di hati sahaja. I believe tak semua perkara perlu diceritakan, we should reserve some to ourselves, don't you think so?

Last Friday. What was so interesting about last Friday? Actually on last Friday, Halim did invite Ika and me to watch a theatre entitled Opera Ayu Cendana, supported by my younger sister Eqa (kena tukar nama sbb ramai org dah get confused between Ika my friend and Ika my younger sis) yg kata teater tu best sbb dia pernah attend kat USM dulu, so Ika and i went together with Halim, his younger bro, his sister and her sister's friends.

Eventhough my head was spinning like gasing due to tidur yg tak cukup sbb kena prepare 2 business plan utk 2 malam berturut2, dek kerana kasihankan Halim, pergilah jugak. Lagipun this was my first time watching theatre after dah grad, waktu kat U dulu selalu jugak tgk teater PLM. So might as well take the opportunity nak tgk apa yg bestnya teater ni. So we went.

The theatre was under Fauziah Nawi's group, namely as Steffani (tak taulaa naper nama dia Western sgt), the story was ok i would say, astonished jugak tgk Fauziah Nawi menyanyi sbb tak sangka dia terer nyanyi, and the actors and actresses also were impressive to me.

The only thing yg i tak berkenan was cara teater ni dilakonkan. Bersentuh-sentuhan antara hero and heroin. Isk, tak geli agaknya derang ni. Naik bulu roma tgk derang ni berlakon. I'm not blaming org2 teater ni bluntly, kadang-kadang org yg berilmu di kalangan kita kurang gemar utk participate this type of activities, tak banyak teguran yg diberikan. Therefore most of these type of activities/performances end up like that. Tapi, kalau dah Quran kata : Jangan kamu hampiri zina...tak kiralah apa caranya, maka tak bolehlah buat. Rasanya peringatan dah ada, berumur lebih 1400 tahun lak lagi, kalau tak digunapakai dek tuan punya badan, takkan nak salahkan org yg tak memberi nasihat pulak,kan?

Dlm dewan teater tu, otak berfikir..agak-agak kalau diajak tgk teater lagi..nak tgk lagi tak ek? Kalau fikir-fikir, mcm terasa duit yg kita bayar utk teater tu seperti menyokong pulak perbuatan yg derang buat tu. Tapi fikir dalam lagi, kalau bukan kita yang nak melihat dan menegur, siapa lagi nak tegur? Kalau semua org alim berfikiran mcm tu( please bear in mind that i'm not addressing myself as org alim and org teater tu jahat k coz i know i'm not alim and who knows ibadah mereka lebih baik dr kita), jadi mereka-mereka ini akan terus terpinggir dari skop dakwah kita. Pendakwah seharusnya tidak harus memilih bulu dalam mengerjakan dakwah,kan?

What can i conclude here is...kita bantulah mana yg terdaya. And what i did was, i put comment berbunyi " kalau boleh elakkan sentuhan fizikal antara lelaki dan perempuan, hopefully ada improvement in future" kat borang survey yg diserahkan pada kami sebelum teater bermula hehe. terasa mcm nak letak jugak pasal tutup aurat, tapi tak tertulis sbb memikirkan yg derang sure-sure gelakkan comment camtu. Tapi sepatutnya kita kena cakap jugak sbb perkara tu wajib diberitahu. Isk, berdosa rasanya sbb tak cakap. Nanti kalau ada teater lain, i will spell it out insya-Allah.

Mencari sinar

terperosok diri di satu sudut
mencari sinar yang telah lama hilang
dari dalam hati
sekian lama

basah sudah tabir mata
mengingatkan dosa yg bersepah
mengira betapa tingginya noda
mengejek diri
betapa kotornya lumpur dosa
yg memalit diri

akan diterimakah amalan selama ini
yg dipersembahkan kian hari
entah mana kusyu'nya
entah mana ikhlasnya
jadi
apa saja
yang dibawa ke akhirat sana?

Ya Allah
Jangan Kau palingkan wajahMu
di saat ku menghadap
membentang amalan

Janganlah Kau murka
atas kelalaian diri yang sememangnya daif
moga ada
belas ihsanMu
dalam menunjuk jalan nur
untuk hamba berdosa ini...


Sentiasalah kita memohon keampunan dariNya.

~Kita tidak selamanya menongkat dunia~