Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Exam

Assalamualaikum wbt,

Sorry for no updates available for now. I was bz handling my monthly meeting reports and office stuff. Alhamdulillah exam Accounting boleh tahan, doakan excel yer.

Ahad ni exam Mgmt pulak..starting from tomorrow i'll be taking annual leave for 2 days sbb nak study. Berkampung lagi UIA nampaknya :)

Ok guys, kita jumpa next week insya-Allah. Assalamualaikum wbt :)

La'ali bin najah, insya-Allah :)

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

Huwajtabakum!!

Assalamualaikum wbt,

Ana pastekan satu e mail menarik di dalam salah satu yahoogroup yang ana join,


Asskum,Sekadar renungan seketika (nu'min sa'ah...)Nikmat terbesar dari Allah bukanlah makan, minum, pakaian dan kenderaan mewah akan tetapi ialah apabila anda dipilih oleh Allah SWT (huwajtabakum) untuk bersama Kafilah Nabi....mewarisi tugas dan amanah hingga akhir hayat. "

Wajahiduu fillahi haqqa jihadih, huwajtabakum...." (Al-Hajj: 78)

Huwajtabakum!!(Dia (yakni Allah) telah memilih kamu)

Dulu kau sangat gembira
Kerana ayah memilih untukmu kasut baru
Baju, sampin dan songkok untuk hari mulia
Pagi raya disambut penuh ceria

Dulu kau sangat gembira
Kerana kau terpilih
Mewakili debat perdana
Menjadi juara

Dulu kau sangat gembira
Kerana kau terpilih
Menjadi pelajar terbaik
Hingga terkenal seantero negara

Dulu kau sangat gembira
Kerana kau dipilih
Menjawat jawatan mulia
Ada harga diri, gaji dan kereta perdana

Dulu kau sangat gembira
Kerana dikau terpilih oleh isteri jelita
Menjadi raja walau seketika
Membina masjid yang bertaqwa

Kini kau lebih teramat gembira
Kerana dikau dipilih Allah
Menjadi jundi Nya
Memikul panji Ilahi dengan megahnya
Seantero dunia gegak gempita
Dengan seruan dakwahmu jauh melata

Tiada lagi nikmat sebesar ini
Kerana anda telah terpilih oleh Rabbi
Huwajtabakum! (Al-Hajj: 78)

SM Ismail
21 Sept 2004
Gombak.

This will be my last entry for this week as i have to concentrate on my exam on this becoming Saturday. Starting tomorrow i'll be not in the office, so do miss my entries k :)

Wassalam.

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

I'm not a Gold Lion actually, i'm a Gold Raccoon instead

Assalamualaikum wbt,

Salah ler about my description previously, i think that was becoz the menu tu easily clicked and slipped off kot. This is my real description actually (after checking for about 5 times hehe)


You are Gold Raccoon, who display an easy outlook, and are very graceful.

You give an impression of typical traditional Japanese women.

You are always quiet, and will not speak out your thoughts openly.

Your modesty and gracefulness will avoid friction, and will be able to make the harsh atmosphere turn friendly.

You tend to forget things easily and make easy promises.

But your cheerful and active character pays for those weak points.

It may be a good idea if you take notes.

You don't think things seriously, and people may think you to be too indifferent. This may be a good thing to do sometimes, but it may also result in you losing important things and people.

But once you set an objective, your concentration is amazing.

Once you start on something, you will accomplish the goal no matter what.

Unlike your pretty atmosphere, in real life, you are very active person, and although you may look sensitive, you have great nerve and guts.

You also possess observing eyes towards people, and have great talent and know how to get on in life.

You act as though you are weak towards men, but really you are the one manipulating them successfully.

You are likely to make your husband a dominating one.

You are more interested in your career than your love life.

But once you fall in love, you get extremely passionate, and will attack with all your heart and mind and strength.

After getting married, you will put all your energy into your family.


Hmm..this one, i would say most of the criteria applied to myself. Teringat pulak istilah 'sensitive' commented by Kak Fari...hmm, betul ker i'm a sensitive person? Rasanya cam ganeh jek..kekeke :P

Wassalam.

Monday, September 20, 2004

Zunnur'ain

Assalamualaikum wbt,

Zunnur'ain...

Melihat nama link blogku di'linkage'kan as Zunnur'ain di blog Kak Iqin (Kak Nuun), suddenly there was this feeling, tak tau nak describe camner sebenarnya, meresap di hati. Perasaan damai kot, entah, allahu'alam.

Zunnur'ain, nama ini lebih kucintai dari Zurina, nama asalku sendiri. Malah di e mail yahooku, nama sender yang akan keluar ialah puteri dwicahaya, yang sebenarnya aku reflectkan kepada Siti Zunnur'ain. Dulu ustazah di STTJ pernah cakap, siapa yang ada Siti di namanya, membawa maksud puteri. Tapi Kak Fari kata maksud Siti ialah 'Madam' atau Puan, and ada lagi kot maksud lain. But i prefer my ustazah sbb of course sumer orang suka dengan nama puteri,so i put my sender name as puteri dwicahaya, menterjemahkan Zunnur'ain di dalam Bahasa Melayu.

Jangan ditanya mengapa suka dgn nama ini, nama gelaran Sayidina Uthman Al-Affan, sahabat Rasulullah s.a.w. Telah lama diri ini menyukainya, dan telah lama nama ini terpakai di dalam hati.

Moga diriku bercahaya umpama makna 2 cahaya di dalam maksud nama..

ZUNNUR'AIN.

Wassalam.

I'm a Gold Lion

I did the same self assessment using birth date recommended by Ika;

You are Gold Lion, who is rather serious and polite type of person.

You value personal relationships.

You suppress yourself and act to be a sociable person, but you are really a person who doesn't like to loose to anyone.

You dislike emotional atmosphere and vague attitude.

You want to make everything clear-cut.

You like to stay in your own little world, if you get in a situation where there are lots of people you can not express yourself and act as a perfect person.

You are not very subjective sort of person, unlike ordinary women, but unfortunately you lack soft and gentle atmosphere.

You tend to be too bold.

You cannot help but stretch your hand to those who are in need.

You are very kind person who helps the weak.

You are also weak on compliments, and will work enthusiastically after someone has given a compliment.

You will go about your duty steadily and loyally, and not get in a rush to achieve the objective.

You have perseverance, and will work effortlessly until you reach your objective.

Something that you have worked steadily for a long, long time, will turn out to be an asset to the world.

You are careful and rational, and therefore place value to steady life.

After getting married, you will be a devoted mother and a wife, but you are really a very dependent person, and prefer to keep your own little world.


Hmm...allahualam tepat ker tidak, but some are true to me hehe ;)

Friday, September 17, 2004

Tanggungjawab

Assalamualaikum wbt,

What was so interesting about yesterday?

Hmm...

Hmm...

Menarik itu satu persoalan subjektif, tapi semalam mmg perbincangan yg berlaku between Aini and me menarik :)

Tanggungjawab seseorang berbeza-beza mengikut keadaan. Pada yang sudah berkahwin, tanggungjawab lebih memberat kepada menjaga rumah tangga. Pada yang belum, kerja, your real family, your social life are some of the things that have become your priorities.

As yesterday, Aini and I had this discussion about pursuing Master. I'm suggesting that for those who are always hooked up with tight schedule, Msc is always a better option instead of MBA. Lagipun yuran pengajian for Msc is far away lower than MBA, 3.6K vs 18500K. And about times and feelings, yes, sometimes you get tension when it comes to assignments, projects and presentations due dates, as addition to whatever hectics office job schedule that you have now.

Aini had raised her point of view that staying and becoming a wife and mother to look up for her family, did give her satisfaction and happiness. And yeah, i'm totally agree with that. For a wife, family is everything. Everytime your child get sick, you will feel so fretful upside down, anxious and depressed to get your child recover again, and you will be only calm again after he manage to recover. Same goes for husband. Banyak tanggungjawab dan peranan isteri ni dalam memelihara rumah tangga.

And in Islam, perkahwinan itu adalah satu rahmat. Everything that we do dlm menjalankan tanggungjawab kita as isteri, ibu dan sebagainya dalam memelihara kerukunan rumah tangga dan membentuk baitul islami, akan dikira sebagai jihad. Orang lelaki berjihad dengan keringat di dalam bentuk yang lebih berat (berperang, berjuang dgn cara masing-masing), tapi bagi kita yang muslimat, menghambakan diri kepada Allah dan suami sudah cukup membawa kita ke jalan syurga. Mudah,kan?

I would suggest to all of you muslimat out there, do WHATEVER you wanna do (as long as it's not contradict to Islam teachings), be firm and determined, strive hard and be contented, and you will be happy insya-Allah. If you want to be a full housewife, go on. If you want to be an astronomer, doctor, lawyer, bla bla ba, even the BOD of Telekom, please go on, because that are our choices for us to decide. Allah has granted His rahmah by allowing us to make our own decisions, biiznillah. Life is about a matter of choice. The most important thing out of this is.. for whatever decisions that we make, for whatever path that we choose, make sure that we are always heading to the right and sole direction: Allah yang Satu.

Wassalam. :)

Thursday, September 16, 2004

Hati ingin berbicara

Assalamualaikum wbt,

Jangan ditanya mengapa hari ini jemari ini rajin mengetuk keyboard..

Kerana ketika ini,

hati ingin berbicara....


Kadar pengamatan dan pemahaman kita mengenai segala apa yang berlaku di dunia ini bergantung kepada apa yang biasa kita fokuskan dalam hidup. Setinggi mana pengamatan yang dimaksudkan, rasanya bergantung kepada tahap mana keseriusan kita di dalam menganalisis dan menggunapakai apa yang terrefleks di hati dan pemikiran dalam memikirkan sesuatu benda,perkara dan peristiwa. Benar bukan?

Maka saat ini saya ingin mengajak antum semua untuk menjadi lebih serius. Serius dalam menjalani kehidupan kita, serius dalam menjalankan tanggungjawab dan peranan kita, dan serius dalam kita berbuat ketika menjadi khalifah muka bumi ini.

Kita sudah tidak boleh main-main lagi. Kita sudah tidak boleh bergurau senda di dalam keterlupaan bahawa saat ini Islam amat memerlukan kita untuk bergerak menunaikan tanggungjawab kita, memainkan peranan kita di dalam memenuhkan janji kita kepada Allah, bahawa saat kita dilahirkan di dunia, tanggungjawab kita adalah untuk memakmurkan bumi Tuhan, dengan kalimah Thoyibah. Tribulasi sudah begitu banyak, dan kita masih mampu untuk bergelak senda?

Sudah sampai masanya kita bergerak dari bermain-main kepada arah yang sepatutnya. Kerana kita sudah kurang masa, sedang dilihat cabaran bertimpa-timpa mendatang.

Berketawalah kalian, asalkan tidak lupa tanggungjawab sebenar kita. Bergurau sendalah kalian, kerana sememangnya fitrah manusia itu suka kepada kelembutan, kasih sayang dan kegembiraan. Tapi ingat, di sebalik semua itu, kita perlu tanamkan di hati, bahawa kita punya matlamat, dan matlamat itu perlu kita tangani dengan penuh keseriusan. Kerana kita sememangnya sedar, Allah tidak pernah bermain-main di dalam menciptakan kita.

Surah Az-Zaariyat ayat 56 yang bermaksud: ``Dan tidak Aku jadikan jin dan manusia melainkan untuk beribadat kepadaku.''

Tinggalkan kelekaan yang melalaikan. Kita punya misi dan tugas.

Masih ingin terleka dalam senda gurau duniakah kita?



Big steps need a big HEART

Assalamualaikum wbt,

Semalam tidur umah Mak Teh as she requested me to sleep over at her house to teach her Arabic. Baru ayat pertama suh cari makna 'al-qaid', tak jumpa dlm kamus, langsung Mak Teh malas nak sambung sbb dia ngantuk. Haiyaa,camner nak score ginih. This morning she insisted me to sleep over at her house again to teach her the same thing. Isk, i've got a meeting tonite at UM. Can't make it. Last resort, she wanted me to teach her on next Sunday rite after my MBA class. I said that i want to stay back in UIA to study, since my final is just around the corner next week, but she still wants me to study at her house to study together. Masalahnya, umah dia ada ASTRO!!!! Kang sure bukak TV. Tu yg maleh tu :)

But i just agree jer, sbb kesian pulak as she need to submit her 'pre-final exam paper' to her ustaz on the next Monday. Her ustaz cakap, kalau derang tak score in final, he will pick this paper as supplementary exam paper to support the final exam's! Tak aci sungguh! Hehe.

Hari ni jugak Mak Teh lewat sent me to LRT station, ending up i was late to punch in for about 10 minutes!! I just dun understand how people can talk and have conversation about a lot of things before nak pergi keje, yang biasanya akan menyebabkan me lewat tuh. Haiyaa... in my heart, i kept begging..cepat laaar Mak Teh, cepat laaarr, kang iena lambat nanti. Tapi cakap dlm hati je ler, cakap bebetul nanti takut her housemate get irritated by me pulak. Tapi bukan me yg nak stay kat umah tu, my Mak Teh yg insisted. AND, that house is belongs to Induk, my own makcik! So, tak kisahlah kan kalau nak begitu berterus terang, tapi rasa mcm tak best ler pulak. She's the one renting that house with my Mak Teh and i'm not, which means i dun have rights to instruct people here and therelah,kan?. Hmm...

Yesterday, i requested Ika to bring my Accounting textbook and pass it to me before she went to UM, so we met at Masjid Jamek. I invited her for a drink and both of us makan capati sbb still kenyang lagi. This was about our fifth time makan di kedai makan mamak yg sama, and about the third time we were having such a good discussion. Yang kelakarnya, setiap malam jumpa kat umah, takde pulak terpk nak discuss bebende yg kami biasa discuss kat kedai mamak. So when she was in the train, i sent a message to her saying that how funny we were coz we were used to discuss about masalah negara and stuff di kedai mamak instead at our own house. She replied to me, di kedai mamaklah biasanya org2 hebat berbincang, cuba tgk kalau org tgh discusss pasal business ker, apa ker, sure cari kedai mamak after hotel. Kira ok ler tuh. Hehe.

Tu jer ler kot. Cumanya out of our discussion yesterday, tetiba i dpt ilham what should i be in the future. Cumanya tak leh nak reveal kat sini sbb not yet sure. But my heart was happy yesterday, might be it is an indicator saying that my instict is right? Dunno...we'll wait and see.

Ok, nak concentrate on keje dulu. Wassalam. :)





Wednesday, September 15, 2004

New day, and a new life

Assalamualaikum wbt,

I do not know why, but i really become so energetic, feel happier and revitalised again this morning. Terasa mcm lamanya tak terasa best nak pergi keje. Mungkin sebab dah hantar assignment yg grabbed a lot of my attention before, menyebabkan biler dah submit, terasa lapangnya hati. Be grateful, be grateful :)

I really feel like to jump like a small kid at my place rite now. Tak tau ler ni masalah emotional instability atau apa, kejap happy, kejap kang sedih tak pasal-pasal. I think i have to check with doc pasal my emo ni hehe.

I think all are depends on what you choose at which conditions you wanna be. If you wanna be in happy state, then you'll be happy. If vice versa, the result will be the vice versalah,kan? ;)

Ok, for today, i wanna choose happiness and proactiveness. Have to keep moving faster and faster. I've got 3 exams starting from next Saturday for my Accounting, then my Management subject on Sunday on the other week, and the next Mondaynya i've got Arabic exam pulak. I have to be very wise assigning my time to cater which subjects. And not to be forgotten, my office jobs too.

Oklah, sesaper yang terasa nak ambil MBA, especially Aini, ni nak bagitau jujur sejujurnya ni. If you think you can cope with your personal life + office job + other responsibilities or commitments, then i believe MBA is good for you. But if you think you can't, Msc (Master in Science) is a better option. Seriously, if you opt for Msc, you won't have this hectic schedule of life, and you can concentrate on other parts or things of your life that you think are much important. As for MBA, there are so many things for you to catch up. Your studies, assignments, projects and presentations, plus our existing office job rite now. Even for me myself, i'm started thinking to let go my Arabic class next sem, coz i think i have to prioritize which should come first rite now. I love Arabic so much, but i couldn't spare my guilty for not becoming a good worker as i can't concentrate on my job as what i did before i took the MBA class.

Ok, continue later insya-Allah.

May Allah bless us all.

Wassalam.

~ Happiness is a gift out of thousands nikmah that Allah grants to us, so let us be grateful for whatever we have and we don't have for now :) ~

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

The new spirit has come!

Assalamualaikum wbt,

I changed my template, couldn't afford to stay the same for a long time. I need to move, and keep moving. So this is one of my efforts to keep moving. Yeayy!! :)

Assignment Accounting berjaya disubmit hari ni, setelah about 1 week i was cramming my brain + efforts to complete it. My other groupmates salah buat calculation and interpretations, so i have to correct the assignment all the way. Hmm.. cannot blame them since all of them are IT grads, so nak tak nak i have to bear the bigger responsibilities to make sure our assignment is correct.

Tak nak cerita panjang, tapi rasa puas sbb dah tukar template. Mungkin ada sedikit perubahan lagi nanti. I know someone will be horrorly looking at my blog , because i know she is phobia to PINK color, tapi apa nak buat, tgh suka kat kaler pink pulak time nih. Biler bosan nanti mungkin ambil kaler biru kot. My favourite colour after light purple :)

Ok, jumpa lagi, wassalam :)

Friday, September 10, 2004

Bersyukur tak kita?

Assalamualaikum wbt,

Apakah maksud sebenar bersyukur?

Dr maksud bahasanya, be grateful (hehe, mmg ler grateful, takkan istilah lain pulak), tapi dr maksud syari'enya, bersyukur itu diertikan sebagai melakukan apa yang disuruh oleh Allah, dan meninggalkan laranganNya.

I'm not going into theory, becoz konsep ini sepatutnya dah dihadamkan ketika kita bersekolah rendah lagi. Cumanya, pagi ini minda tergerak untuk merenung diri, dah cukup bersyukur dah ker kita ni? Setiap hari i will see this one blind man di tepi escalator Maybank, jual tisu and pen. Setiap kali lalu, mmg perasan bahawa dia akan zikir sambil berdiri, zikir yang senyap, tenggelam dalam dunianya sendiri.

Redhanya dia masya-Allah. Kalau kita, mcm mana? Redha tak?

Allahualam.

Membayangkan kita akan kehilangan penglihatan sahaja sudah cukup menyeksakan. Lemasnya kita, tak nampak apa-apa. Hitam. Gelap. Pekat.

Kalau boleh, kita mahu melihat selama-lamanya. Selama-lamanya.

Bersyukur tak kita yang sempurna deria ini?

Fikirkan.

Wassalam.

Thursday, September 09, 2004

Err..semalam jadi jahat kejap hehe

Assalamualaikum wbt,

Hehe, semalam ambil urgent leave sbb kelmarinnya kepalaku sakit sgt, sampai tertidur kat depan PC sampai pukul 9 malam sbb tak tahan sakit. Bangun kejap sambung buat assignment, pastu balik.

Sampai umah, ibu tgh menjahit meanwhile Ika and Along tgh tgk TV and berdebat dgn ibu. Seperti biasa, aku akan ambil posisi sebagai pembangkang memihak kepada Ika dan Along, hehe. Suka sgt lawan cakap ngan ibu, best. Bukan gaduh, tapi mcm berdebat. Semua topik boleh masuk :)

Erk..ada org kuarkan statement yang tidak pernah dijangka dlm discussion kelmarin, nasib baik penerimaan time tu sungguh baik dan dalam keadaan yang tidak serius. Kalau tak, sure muka turn to be red kerana malu, tapi tergamam juga dgn pengakuan tu. Apa pun, alhamdulillah atas perhatian yang diberikan. Persahabatan terjalin selamanya, insya-Allah :)

Semalam one whole day buat assignment Accounting. Banyak sgt figure yang hendak dianalisis sampai mata and fikiran berat. Kejap baring pejam mata, pastu bangun balik sambung. Kena banyak bersabar nak belajar ni rupanya :)

Semalam ponteng kelas Arabic sbb nak siapkan assignment. Jahat,kan?

Hmm...mmg jahat pun. Sepanjang buat assignment semalam, asyik terbayang jek muka ustaz. Isk, bersalahnya rasa, tapi nak buat mcm mana, assignment nak kena settlekan jugak.

Till then. Wassalam.

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

Emotional instability

Assalamualaikum wbt,

Hmm...ok, memula nak bagitau yg yesterday my mood was not so good, felt so down and rasa ntah haper-haper. Nasib baik manager suh buat satu presentation slide untuk meeting today, kalau tidak mmg jawabnya tak buat paper langsung semalam sbb mmg rasa down sgt2. Masalah emotional instability yang dah lama tak menjenguk diri hehe.

Semalam pegi kelas Arabic, buku teks pulak Mak Teh bawa pegi outstation ke Kota Bharu. Aiyyarrkk...how to study like that? Nak pergi kelas ke tak nak pergi? Hati dah berbelah bagi dah ni...tapi bila pk next week mugkin i burn kelas sbb nak outstation for one week, might as well i pegi jugak walaupun takde buku. Sampai kelas nasib baik Kak Zuraidah ada, kongsi buku dgn dia. Kak Mariah and Kak Nadia absent. Cuba bayangkan kalau i'm the one jer muslimat yg hadir, takkan nak kongsi buku dgn muslimin kot? Alhamdulillah, syukur sesangat Kak Zuraidah ada :)

Sebelum kelas start and ustaz lom masuk lagi, Bro Baharin bawak satu article and discuss ttg seorang academia di UM (ada PhD tuh) commented dlm The Edge ttg erti Kemerdekaan dalam beragama. Ada ker dia kata nak tubuhkan satu NGO untuk membantah ttg hukum Islam yang dikatakan 'tidak merdeka' kerana tidak memberikan kebebasan kepada penganutnya untuk bebas memilih agama lain! Terasa nak lempang tak org2 macam nih? Kalau orang yang tak berpendidikan tinggi takpe lagi nak cakap mcm tu, sbb kita sedia faham dia belum mampu nak faham konsep Islam yang sebenarnya. Tapi kalau org berstatus pendidik mcm dia boleh comment mcm tu, mmg terasa nak hentak dia habis-habisan! (mulalah rasa diri nak mengganas ni hehe). Tapi serius, cuba fikirkan impaknya pada org yang membaca. Title PhD yang dia pegang tu boleh influence org dengan mudah. Yang tak fahamnya, belajar dah sampai PhD, apasal konsep asas dalam Islam tak settle lagi? Sepatutnya org2 berstatus tinggi mcm ni, biler terasa tak puas hati, you go and find that isu and study betul2 why Allah tetapkan hukumNya sebegitu rupa. Marah betul dgn org2 sebegini yang tak reti nak guna akal dan buat insiatif nak belajar! Ni lah yang dikatakan, kalau pertambahan ilmu yang dipelajari itu tidak membawa apa-apa kesan kebaikan dalam diri, maka sebenarnya ilmu itu tidak membawa pertambahan apa-apa kebaikan pada diri kita, selain pertambahan kejauhan dengan Allah. Na'uzubillahi min zalik, pelihara aku Ya Allah. Buat penat jer belajar kang, tapi tak membawa kebaikan apa-apa, sesia sahaja.

Jom kita pegi buat surat kat Doc ni.Ntah haper-haper yang dia pk. I hope ustaz ustazah kat UM tu boleh pegi consult Doc nih. He's from Faculty Law kalau tak silap. Like what sorang Bro ni cakap, org2 camni dah become mad. All of us had the same thought, these people ni kurang mendalami Islam sebenarnya. Ish, besarnya tanggungjawab kita nak berdakwah kat org2 sebegini. Mampu tak kita? Hmm..think about it, will ya? Ada solution nanti, bagitau so that mana yg mampu kita boleh laksanakan, insya-Allah.


Semalam kelas Arabic went so wacky, mmg jenis tak leh controllaa me and Kak Zuraidah last nite. Kitorang belajar isim-isim baru yang bunyinya dan penggunaannya kelakar i.e qohqoh (gelak berdekah-dekah) and yarmadhmadh (berkumur-kumur), arghargharah (berkumur ubat doktor sehingga ke tahap kerongkong yang lepas tu kita luahkan semula biler kita sakit tekak) and daghdagh (tickle). Aduih, mmg tak tahan gelak sgt, tak control langsung. Habis nak buat camner, mmg kelakar sungguh. Ustaz senyum jek tgk kitorang dua org tak leh stop gelak, hihi :D

Pagi ni sibuk punggah buku-buku teks Accounting lama sbb nak refer utk assignment to be submitted this Friday. Minggu lepas belajar Accounting, tak tau ler subject tu yg semakin susah ker, atau diri sendiri yg dah lama tinggalkan Accounting sampai terasa susah. Buku teks kitorang kat UIA ni tak helpful langsung. Theory memanjang, tapi langsung takde example nak refer kalau nak buat latihan atau assignment. Tu yang kena cari balik buku2 teks MMU dulu. Satu buku teks dah hantar ke UUM for my Bro sbb dia nak guna utk subject dia. Tinggal 2 buku Financial Managerial Accounting jek lagi yg boleh direfer. Dedua buku diangkut ke ofis sbb nak refer. Tapi serius biler belajar Managerial Accounting kat MBA ni, terasa cam susah and asyik terpk dalam kelas, "Camner aku leh grad dlm Accounting aa? Pesal cam rasa susah jek bende nih, tak pernah jumpa pun dulu waktu study". Hehe, tapi biler refer balik tadi, ada belajar sebenarnya, tapi bukan part2 yang biasa lecturer kita tekankan dulu. Tu yang tak ingat tu, hehe. Belajar dulu pun sebab nak lulus exam jer, mana ler ilmu nak lekat. Astaghfirullah, macam mana nak berkat :)

Okes, nak concentrate dgn keje. Wassalam :)

Monday, September 06, 2004

Dalam susah, terselit bahagia

Assalamualaikum wbt,

I have to tell ya, that for my past 3 nights, i was so sucked up into finishing my projects, presentations and assignments that i didn't think about other things so much, including my own job, hmm..terasa bersalah jugak ler sbb supposedly i couldn't be like that. I have my own responsibilities and amanah to my office works juga. Alhamdulillah my manager understands me well, but i also know that setiap kesabaran pasti ada limitnya, and i promised to myself that i won't let him down by ignoring my own jobs hanya kerana hendak mengejar cita-cita peribadi. That is not fair to him, to my company and any other people yang ada relations with me :)

Yesterday i cried rite after my Management case presentation because some of my group members yang ntah haper2 jer present case kat depan audience and lecturer. Rasa mcm kecewa, nak marah semua bercampur baur dalam diri biler ada presenter yg hanya membaca report kat depan sedangkan all of us know that when you present, you shall be well-prepared of your subject and be able to memorize kalau tak semua pun, major2 points pun cukup ler, and not TOTALLY reading your report kat depan audience, and that was happening yesterday, and for the first time in my life, i'm getting mad at people yang do not live up to my expectations and standards. I couldn't even smile after that presentation because i felt that ours was so bad!

Rite after finishing our presentation, i went out and called Ika and babbling about my disatisfactions about our presentation. I even cried because i was so tension. Perhaps i'm a little bit perfectionist that i couldn't accept such silly mistakes (can we refer it as mistakes? sebenarnya dan yang sesungguhnya the unprepared ATTITUDE yang i can't tolerate!!). Why ler people just cannot put commitment as what they should be and not take for granted for everything? I really feel like to punch, kick or whatsoever to that guy, just to let my angry+ dissatisfactions relieve!! Aaaaaaaarrggghhhhh......!!!!!

Alhamdulillah Ika's advice worked well for me yesterday and today. She mentioned that i should consider about my group members' different backgrounds, some of them dah lama tinggalkan university life and ada yang tak pernah buat presentation pun. In MMU, we was trained to be so well-prepared, even we have to come out with some rehearsals before the presentation, and that was not happening in my Management group. In my Accounting group, alhamdulillah we did because most of us are youngsters. My 2 accounting members are UTP grads, and the other one from PPP. So we know how we should present our case and i'm not dissapointed at all. But for my Management case, Ya Allah, Kau murahkanlah rezekiku dengan mengurniakan markah yang banyak, kalau tak takde chance nak dapat A untuk subject ni (pleading to Allah very much ni..sob sob).

Tapi hari ni, alhamdulillah i'm ok, and even i laugh to myself for having such silly manner of getting angry to my group members. Allah jadikan manusia ini dengan pelbagai rupa dan ragam, supaya kita saling kenal-mengenali dan kasih-mengasihi. Rahmat Allah juga sebenarnya walaupun apa yang kita harapkan tidak menjadi.

Di sebalik keburukan, ada hikmah yang tersembunyi.

Dan di sebalik kesibukan dan kepayahan mengejar ilmu ini, terselit bahagia yang tak tergambar.

Dan di kala ini...

Terasa diri ini menjadi insan yang bertuah, and i'm very happy to realize that Allah memberi segala ini sebagai cubaan, untuk melihat kita ini bersabar atau sebaliknya.

Cubalah bersabar, walaupun susah. Cubalah redha, walaupun payah.

Have to deal with that, Ya Allah, kuatkan imanku. Aku tak sebaik mana, selalu tersungkur bila ada cubaan sebegini. Ampunkan dosa sebab terkutuk org biler time tgh marah semalam. Hmm..terasa jahat, sungguh jahat sebenarnya.

Ok, undur diri dulu k. Ma'as salamah :)

P/s: Happy sebab ada sahabat yang dah berjaya melangkah ke usaha dakwah. Doakan ana juga akan berkesempatan begitu in near future, insya-Allah :)

Thursday, September 02, 2004

Serasa air mata mahu tumpah

Assalamualaikum wbt,

Serasa air mata mahu tumpah apabila melihat gambar masjid Nabawi di waktu malam di blog seseorang.

Betapa rindunya aku ke situ, betapa aku rindu untuk sujud di lantai masjid itu, dan betapa aku rindu untuk melelapkan mata sejenak bagi melepaskan lelah di lantai yang sejuk damai sambil mendengar samar-samar usrah yang dibawakan oleh Kak Fari.

Sudah 4 tahun berlalu, kenangan apa yang terjadi di sana masih terpahat. Manis dan pahit dikecap bersama, tapi kegembiraan menjejak kaki dan sujud di 2 masjid paling mulia di muka bumi ini tidak tergambar dgn kata-kata.

Dan setelah 4 tahun sekembalinya dari 2 masjid tersebut, berubah menjadi baikkah aku?

Allahu'alam.

Tapi aku sentiasa berdoa, biarlah aku tetap kukuh meniti landasan-Nya dalam kehidupan, agar aku bahagia apabila berjumpa dengan-Nya nanti.

Wassalam.