Thursday, March 01, 2012

Feel so small



It's been ages for me to put up something in here. Not that I don't have any good or bad things to share, but I think it will be just day-to-day routine that I do feel will not add value either to me or to the readers, and I'm not keen to do that just for the sake to update my blog. I'm not that type of person who is so rajin to update blog/capture pic and upload etc. Just not type of person, i guess :)

Well, as I'm in the new office and environment, I'm hoping that I would transform to someone better, as a Muslim, a worker, a housewife, a mother, a friend, just to be better in every aspect of life.

I'm now 32 years old, sadly to say if you ask me what good deeds that I have done, I feel so small inside myself. I do feel that if it's time for me to go leaving the world right now, astaghfirullah al'azeem, may Allah forgive me for so many wrong things that I have done in the past. I feel so shame, and may not be able to look up to Him, or to Rasulullah if I get the chance to meet him. That's what I do really feel right now, I do feel ashame of what I have done wrongly in the past, and also my weaknesses of not doing something good that I actually have the capacity to do indeed.

Despite that, I'm also grateful for being transferred into this new office. Whereby I am surrounded by those who are keen to deepen their Islamic understanding and be able to discuss with me about the basic Islamic teachings, and keep inviting me to be with them to join the classes, it is just the matter whether I want to spare my time or not to join these opportunities. Talking to this people make me realized that I should re-prioritise back my life to be involved with these group of circles and improvise myself, as I feel that I'm a little bit lost in the daily hectic days of managing my work and private life.

Feel so small right now, very-very small.

This is the time where we need to be with our circle of friends or people that would strengthen our steps towards the positive and rightful direction. Really it would helps.



x-YM chat friend said...

feel so small but physically not to small....he he he

ieka said...

Siti, someone once said to me, "if you feel like you are dying, it is because Allah wants to bless you with knowledge (or some kind of similar gifts)".

May Allah bless you always..

IeNa said...

x-YM chat friend,

Ni comment yg tetiba buat daku terasa mcm nak makan org ni hehehe. I have valid reason ler why not physically so small for now, pregnant almost 3 months maaa,appetite makan sedikit bertambah huhuhu(erkk..alasan jek nih sebenarnya :P)

Syukran Tikot for the calming statement, hopefully we will be come better and better every day, the same du'a for you too :)