Assalamualaikum wbt,
Saya sedang bersedih sekarang ini. Sedih kerana tindakan yang saya ambil dengan niat yg baik disalah erti, dan menyebabkan saya pula dimarahi dan dijauhi.
Tidak apa lagi, saya kira..kerana yang lebih menyedihkan saya rakan-rakan yang sudah berkawan dengan saya hampir 5 tahun, rupa-rupanya masih lagi tidak mengenali diri saya. Menyalah anggap bahawa saya gila kuasa, merampas post yang saya duduki sekarang. Sungguh, saya tidak pernah berniat mahu merampas post sesiapa, apatah lagi post rakan sendiri. Sekiranya post ini mahu diambil balik, ambillah dan saya sudi melepaskannya kerana cabaran dan amanah yang diberikan adalah besar, hampir tidak tertanggung oleh saya sebenarnya.
Sukar benarkah menyambut salam kemaafan sekiranya benar saya yang berbuat salah? Besar sangatkah kesalahan saya sehingga ada rakan yang dahulu bergelak bersama kini tidak mahu melihat atau mendengar suara saya lagi? Sejauh itukah perasaan benci terhadap diri saya?
Allah...Allah sahaja yang tahu betapa tergurisnya hati rakan sendiri berbuat begini. Bukan tidak pernah saya meminta maaf, walaupun saya tidak tahu apa kesalahan saya, tapi saya hulurkan juga salam kemaafan kerana sayangkan persahabatan yang pernah terbina. Sayangkan ukhuwah yang pernah terikat.
Sedih sebenarnya..saya tersepit di dalam tuntutan kerja dan persahabatan. Mujur staff bawahan saya mengerti kedudukan saya yang tersepit di antara 2, memujuk agar bersabar selalu dan memohon pertolongan dr Allah agar semuanya dapat diselesaikan dengan cara yang baik.
Walau bagaimana pun, saya bersyukur dengan dugaan ini, kerana kalau dibandingkan dengan dugaan saudara2 kita di Palestin, apalah sangat kehilangan rakan daripada kehilangan ahli keluarga. Apalah sangat rasa perit di hati dibuat kawan sendiri dari derita hati kehilangan anggota badan dek kerana perang. Dan yang paling utama, saya masih berada di dalam perhatianNya, bukankah itu yang patut disyukuri sebenarnya? Mungkin ini sebagai salah satu cara untuk menarik kembali diri saya yang sering lupa ini kepadaNya, bukankah ia sangat berharga sebenarnya? Sekurang-kurangnya saya tahu, saya masih di dalam perhatianNya. Sekurang-kurangnya dalam keadaan hati yang walang ini, saya kembali padaNya memohon keampunan dan keringanan dalam menempuh ujian ini. Syukur alhamdulillah, dan moga-moga Allah beri keringanan ujian ini ke atas saya.
Hanya doa sahaja yang dapat saya pohon, agar keadaan berubah menjadi lebih baik. Sampai satu detik semuanya kembali reda, akan saya terangkan pada rakan-rakan apa yang sebenarnya berlaku. Moga mereka faham bahawa saya tidak punya niat serong mahupun memandang rendah pada keupayaan mereka, kerana saya juga manusia biasa yang banyak kekurangan sebenarnya.
Doakan bagi pihak saya agar semuanya kembali pulih seperti biasa. Saya sayangkan rakan-rakan saya.
Syukran wassalamualaikum.
Monday, February 26, 2007
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
My grandma and Ika
Assalamualaikum wbt,
Saya sedang migraine, gara2 tak makan sejak pagi sehinggalah pukul 6 petang tadi baru dapat menghadap makanan, kerana sibuk menyiapkan slide presentation GM yang mahukan slide tersebut disiapkan by today. Yg menjadi susahnya membuat slide ni kerana insan2 yg sepatutnya beri saya input on last 19 tak hantar input, and today pulak mereka bercuti..saya terpaksa mencari input sendiri sbb nk kena siapkan slide GM by today. Tu yg susah sket tu.
Cuti 4 hari berada di kampung Batu Kikir, menziarah nenek saya yg sdg uzur. Rumah tak putus2 orang datang berkunjung. Semua ahli saudara pun balik..terasa mcm balik Raya pula kerana semua org berkumpul di rumah nenek. Alhamdulillah nenek saya dah tak sebut2 lagi pasal mati...tapi everytime i looked into her eyes, i turned my gaze away..coz saya tak nak lihat matanya yang merenung saya dgn pandangan yg lama dan sayu. I felt sad coz i never have experience someone close to me pass away except for my cousin who passed away during his sleep, and my great grandma who died for sakit tua. I pray to Allah to let my grandma live longer, she's a good woman. She was hospitalized from last Monday to Thursday coz she was so weak, and my auntie brought her home at Batu Kikir on Friday. On Saturday morning, my family and i went back to Pilah and gathered with our relatives at kampung. They had a kenduri Yassin for my grandma on the previous nite.
On Monday nite, we had to rushed her back to hospital coz she cried in pain. All of us were scared actually. Luckily doc gave a medicine and asker her to rest. Since i was at kampung on Saturday till Monday, people were non-stop came and visited her. Jenuh jugaklah asyik membancuh air utk tetamu..but it was ok, i had chance to meet all sedara mara jauh yang tak pernah jumpa sebelum ni.
Kejutan yg amat biler Abg Razim Faris datang menziarah menemani Datuk Khalid Yunus (he's my father's cousin actually)..kelam kabut mencari tudung sbb tak sangka boleh berjumpa di kampung. Abg Razim dah gempal sket hehe, org kuat IBM. Tgh sibuk buat air, tgk2 dia dah balik. Dia kena balik KL cepat sbb nak jumpa Sir taekwondo kami kat MMU dulu and Robert (our taekwondo mate) di Melaka. Giler sayang Sir Abg Razim ni..tapi mmg Sir kami tu baik..very understanding and best.
Ok yer..doakan nenek saya sembuh..really pray for it.
Ika, whatever happens..uhibbuki lillah..jgn luper aku and Siha biler dah berjauhan nanti...apa pun dugaan yg datang, atau jarak yang memisahkan..takkan ada yg dapat merobohkan our friendship, insya Allah selagi Allah memelihara persahabatan kita..kan Siha,kan? :)
Sedih Ika kena transfer balik Melaka..saper lagilaa yg boleh masakkan daging black paper best mcm Ika, and prepare candle light dinner for me and Siha? Tak bestnyaaaaa Ika takde kat KL!
Ok eh..terpaksa stop sekarang, jumpa lagi insya Allah.
Assalamualaikum :)
Saya sedang migraine, gara2 tak makan sejak pagi sehinggalah pukul 6 petang tadi baru dapat menghadap makanan, kerana sibuk menyiapkan slide presentation GM yang mahukan slide tersebut disiapkan by today. Yg menjadi susahnya membuat slide ni kerana insan2 yg sepatutnya beri saya input on last 19 tak hantar input, and today pulak mereka bercuti..saya terpaksa mencari input sendiri sbb nk kena siapkan slide GM by today. Tu yg susah sket tu.
Cuti 4 hari berada di kampung Batu Kikir, menziarah nenek saya yg sdg uzur. Rumah tak putus2 orang datang berkunjung. Semua ahli saudara pun balik..terasa mcm balik Raya pula kerana semua org berkumpul di rumah nenek. Alhamdulillah nenek saya dah tak sebut2 lagi pasal mati...tapi everytime i looked into her eyes, i turned my gaze away..coz saya tak nak lihat matanya yang merenung saya dgn pandangan yg lama dan sayu. I felt sad coz i never have experience someone close to me pass away except for my cousin who passed away during his sleep, and my great grandma who died for sakit tua. I pray to Allah to let my grandma live longer, she's a good woman. She was hospitalized from last Monday to Thursday coz she was so weak, and my auntie brought her home at Batu Kikir on Friday. On Saturday morning, my family and i went back to Pilah and gathered with our relatives at kampung. They had a kenduri Yassin for my grandma on the previous nite.
On Monday nite, we had to rushed her back to hospital coz she cried in pain. All of us were scared actually. Luckily doc gave a medicine and asker her to rest. Since i was at kampung on Saturday till Monday, people were non-stop came and visited her. Jenuh jugaklah asyik membancuh air utk tetamu..but it was ok, i had chance to meet all sedara mara jauh yang tak pernah jumpa sebelum ni.
Kejutan yg amat biler Abg Razim Faris datang menziarah menemani Datuk Khalid Yunus (he's my father's cousin actually)..kelam kabut mencari tudung sbb tak sangka boleh berjumpa di kampung. Abg Razim dah gempal sket hehe, org kuat IBM. Tgh sibuk buat air, tgk2 dia dah balik. Dia kena balik KL cepat sbb nak jumpa Sir taekwondo kami kat MMU dulu and Robert (our taekwondo mate) di Melaka. Giler sayang Sir Abg Razim ni..tapi mmg Sir kami tu baik..very understanding and best.
Ok yer..doakan nenek saya sembuh..really pray for it.
Ika, whatever happens..uhibbuki lillah..jgn luper aku and Siha biler dah berjauhan nanti...apa pun dugaan yg datang, atau jarak yang memisahkan..takkan ada yg dapat merobohkan our friendship, insya Allah selagi Allah memelihara persahabatan kita..kan Siha,kan? :)
Sedih Ika kena transfer balik Melaka..saper lagilaa yg boleh masakkan daging black paper best mcm Ika, and prepare candle light dinner for me and Siha? Tak bestnyaaaaa Ika takde kat KL!
Ok eh..terpaksa stop sekarang, jumpa lagi insya Allah.
Assalamualaikum :)
Monday, February 12, 2007
Yeay, i'm done with my MBA!! :D
Assalamualaikum wbt,
Subhanallah walhamdulillah...i'm back from a long break from writing..with a good news to all...i'm done with my MBA!!! Alhamdulillah and shukr for many2 times to Allah for this :D
Do you all know how relieved i was on last Saturday, that i had seated my final and last examination for my entire MBA course, which took about 2 years and 8 months??
It was a total relief, like a huge stone was lifted from my shoulder.
I'm not saying that taking MBA is troublesome, of course it's not. It's just the burden that comes while you are doing it, especially when you are working. Man, the idea to quit MBA during my tension periods occured 3 times, when the pressure level had reached its limit that i cried several times due to unbearable hecticness to cater for the study and workloads.
I know i have no kids to take care of which some people may argue about my complaints whatsoever, but actually my job consume lots of my commitment because i'm dealing with GM, if you dun believe me, ask Hany, Ika or Farah who had been in my place before me, they know how it feels like, truly.
I wish all the best to Aini and Yati, you two can do it eventho you have kids to take care of. Allah has determined what is best for us. If He has opened up the path for you two, or anyone of us to further study, it means you can do it. Allah won't test us beyond our own capacities, right? :)
2 years and 8 months, it's a quite long journey actually. Deep in my heart, i treasure most of the memories that have been written during my entire course. I get new friends, new experience and new knowledge. I'm proud to be among UIA MBA family, though the challenge is quite big for me.
I still can remember my first semester in UIA, where we had to stay in UIA until 1 morning to finish up our group project during that time. I had no idea that my last semester in UIA will end with kinda similar experience.
My groupmates and I did not expect that our last semester to be so demanding actually. As- Shariah and International Finance had drained our energy and time a lot. We never been so dedicated in our study except for this semester, highly due to our lecturers, Dr Obay and Prof Aslam who are very good, and quite scary in terms of their high expectations.
International Finance exam went very well, eventho i am not sure whether i can score or not. Experience of Kak Win and Kak Yana which had gone thru this course earlier from us, had told that Dr Obay's paper is tough. Indeed, i was blaming myself for taking this paper while doing past year papers because all the questions were so tough. Luckily, we managed to discuss last minute before going into the exam hall, and most of the questions were similar to the past years and exercises done in the class.
And yeah, for As Shariah..this paper is funnier actually. For almost 2 years and 8 months in UIA, we never give a thought to do any academic writing. We submitted our assignments, group projects whatsoever with our own common format, and do not even think to insert footnote whatsoever. And during this our last semester in UIA, we were required to do so by Prof Aslam. It was really an academic writing, where you have to do literature review and give your comments on those papers. We submitted twice for the As Shariah paper, coz the first one was not in correct format of an academic writing, luckily Prof Aslam returned our papers and requested for re-submission so that we could improve our marks, which mostly lacking in the format part. Hehe, he is a very nice lecturer :)
As-Shariah really introduced us to the real meaning of being a Muslim, and what responsibilities that come with it. I've been reading a lot about Islam, responsibilities about being a Muslim etc before this, but not so much that really stick like glue into my brain and heart. This course really made me internalized what Islam is all about actually.
One of the good discussion about this course coz it discusses about the malaise of ummah today, which is actually due to the confusion of interpreting knowledge, that are prolonged being prescribed to non-Muslim or westerners worldview. One of the the solution to overcome the backwardness of ummah is to islamize the knowledge in accordance to Quran and Sunnah. I wish this objective could become true on day, there are lots of thing to be done to achieve this, insya Allah.
When i finished the As Shariah exam paper, i felt sad coz i really felt that course has taught me a lot :(
Rite after my last exam on Saturday, I went to Putrajaya to visit my grandma who had stroke couple of weeks ago. My grandma stayed with my family about 1 week before my aunties took turn to take care of her. When i visited her that night, she did not speak anything at all, but the next day when i went for second visit, she asked me to pray for her coz she felt that she will not live any longer. I cried straight away when she asked me that. When my parent wanted to leave becoz we had to attend a neighbour's wedding, i kissed her and cried again.
She is a good grandma, never scold me and siblings eventhough i think we are the most naughtiest grandchildren of her. Never complaint eventho my family always prefer to have our Raya at my another grandma's hometown in Pedas coz we have lots of friends and familiar relatives rather in Pilah. I think she felt sad a lil bit coz it seems that we are biased to Pedas, but she never show it to us. Siblings and I always reluctant to go back to Pilah coz Pedas is nearer to KL, it only take about 45 min to 1 hour rather than Pilah which will take about 1 1/2 or 2 hours to arrive, plus with the Bukit Putus snake-look alike-road where most of the times make us feel like to throw up in the middle of the road. We are so bad, rite? But lately my mother always asks us to go back to Pilah to visit my grandma (before she get stroke) coz she concerns about my grandma's health. I couldn't go back frequently coz i had weekend classes before, so this is the right time for me to take care of her after i had completed my MBA. Pray for my grandma ya, i really want her to be healthy again. She is 90 years old now, but i still want her to live for another 100 years more :)
Guys, i am very happy coz i had completed my MBA, lots of people asking whether i want to continue PhD or not. At the moment, my answer will be no coz i want to have a break from study first. The tiredness is still there, let me catch my breath first, concentrate on my unit performance where i couldn't do much before due to my study previously, serve my grandma and get back to Nisa' after a very2 long break which had costed me lots of improvement and exciting activities. Kak Mas and Nisa team will be very happy to listen to this hehe. Ika, if you want to ask me to go shopping or a vacation with you, i may serve you anytime :P (except if i have important meetings or priorities ya!)
Alrite, i have to stop now, tomorrow i will have a business presentation in which i need to make some preparations, so we'll meet again in some other time, insya Allah :)
Last but not least, barakallah to all those people who had given me support and motivation all these while, who had lent their shoulders and be patient with me for i had not reserved so much time to be together with due to certain constraints. I will always treasure each pat on my back, support and motivation that had been given to me during my up and downs during my studies :)
Barakallah again to all, may Allah pay you with rewards and blessings for being with me in getting through this quest of knowledge :)
:)
Subhanallah walhamdulillah...i'm back from a long break from writing..with a good news to all...i'm done with my MBA!!! Alhamdulillah and shukr for many2 times to Allah for this :D
Do you all know how relieved i was on last Saturday, that i had seated my final and last examination for my entire MBA course, which took about 2 years and 8 months??
It was a total relief, like a huge stone was lifted from my shoulder.
I'm not saying that taking MBA is troublesome, of course it's not. It's just the burden that comes while you are doing it, especially when you are working. Man, the idea to quit MBA during my tension periods occured 3 times, when the pressure level had reached its limit that i cried several times due to unbearable hecticness to cater for the study and workloads.
I know i have no kids to take care of which some people may argue about my complaints whatsoever, but actually my job consume lots of my commitment because i'm dealing with GM, if you dun believe me, ask Hany, Ika or Farah who had been in my place before me, they know how it feels like, truly.
I wish all the best to Aini and Yati, you two can do it eventho you have kids to take care of. Allah has determined what is best for us. If He has opened up the path for you two, or anyone of us to further study, it means you can do it. Allah won't test us beyond our own capacities, right? :)
2 years and 8 months, it's a quite long journey actually. Deep in my heart, i treasure most of the memories that have been written during my entire course. I get new friends, new experience and new knowledge. I'm proud to be among UIA MBA family, though the challenge is quite big for me.
I still can remember my first semester in UIA, where we had to stay in UIA until 1 morning to finish up our group project during that time. I had no idea that my last semester in UIA will end with kinda similar experience.
My groupmates and I did not expect that our last semester to be so demanding actually. As- Shariah and International Finance had drained our energy and time a lot. We never been so dedicated in our study except for this semester, highly due to our lecturers, Dr Obay and Prof Aslam who are very good, and quite scary in terms of their high expectations.
International Finance exam went very well, eventho i am not sure whether i can score or not. Experience of Kak Win and Kak Yana which had gone thru this course earlier from us, had told that Dr Obay's paper is tough. Indeed, i was blaming myself for taking this paper while doing past year papers because all the questions were so tough. Luckily, we managed to discuss last minute before going into the exam hall, and most of the questions were similar to the past years and exercises done in the class.
And yeah, for As Shariah..this paper is funnier actually. For almost 2 years and 8 months in UIA, we never give a thought to do any academic writing. We submitted our assignments, group projects whatsoever with our own common format, and do not even think to insert footnote whatsoever. And during this our last semester in UIA, we were required to do so by Prof Aslam. It was really an academic writing, where you have to do literature review and give your comments on those papers. We submitted twice for the As Shariah paper, coz the first one was not in correct format of an academic writing, luckily Prof Aslam returned our papers and requested for re-submission so that we could improve our marks, which mostly lacking in the format part. Hehe, he is a very nice lecturer :)
As-Shariah really introduced us to the real meaning of being a Muslim, and what responsibilities that come with it. I've been reading a lot about Islam, responsibilities about being a Muslim etc before this, but not so much that really stick like glue into my brain and heart. This course really made me internalized what Islam is all about actually.
One of the good discussion about this course coz it discusses about the malaise of ummah today, which is actually due to the confusion of interpreting knowledge, that are prolonged being prescribed to non-Muslim or westerners worldview. One of the the solution to overcome the backwardness of ummah is to islamize the knowledge in accordance to Quran and Sunnah. I wish this objective could become true on day, there are lots of thing to be done to achieve this, insya Allah.
When i finished the As Shariah exam paper, i felt sad coz i really felt that course has taught me a lot :(
Rite after my last exam on Saturday, I went to Putrajaya to visit my grandma who had stroke couple of weeks ago. My grandma stayed with my family about 1 week before my aunties took turn to take care of her. When i visited her that night, she did not speak anything at all, but the next day when i went for second visit, she asked me to pray for her coz she felt that she will not live any longer. I cried straight away when she asked me that. When my parent wanted to leave becoz we had to attend a neighbour's wedding, i kissed her and cried again.
She is a good grandma, never scold me and siblings eventhough i think we are the most naughtiest grandchildren of her. Never complaint eventho my family always prefer to have our Raya at my another grandma's hometown in Pedas coz we have lots of friends and familiar relatives rather in Pilah. I think she felt sad a lil bit coz it seems that we are biased to Pedas, but she never show it to us. Siblings and I always reluctant to go back to Pilah coz Pedas is nearer to KL, it only take about 45 min to 1 hour rather than Pilah which will take about 1 1/2 or 2 hours to arrive, plus with the Bukit Putus snake-look alike-road where most of the times make us feel like to throw up in the middle of the road. We are so bad, rite? But lately my mother always asks us to go back to Pilah to visit my grandma (before she get stroke) coz she concerns about my grandma's health. I couldn't go back frequently coz i had weekend classes before, so this is the right time for me to take care of her after i had completed my MBA. Pray for my grandma ya, i really want her to be healthy again. She is 90 years old now, but i still want her to live for another 100 years more :)
Guys, i am very happy coz i had completed my MBA, lots of people asking whether i want to continue PhD or not. At the moment, my answer will be no coz i want to have a break from study first. The tiredness is still there, let me catch my breath first, concentrate on my unit performance where i couldn't do much before due to my study previously, serve my grandma and get back to Nisa' after a very2 long break which had costed me lots of improvement and exciting activities. Kak Mas and Nisa team will be very happy to listen to this hehe. Ika, if you want to ask me to go shopping or a vacation with you, i may serve you anytime :P (except if i have important meetings or priorities ya!)
Alrite, i have to stop now, tomorrow i will have a business presentation in which i need to make some preparations, so we'll meet again in some other time, insya Allah :)
Last but not least, barakallah to all those people who had given me support and motivation all these while, who had lent their shoulders and be patient with me for i had not reserved so much time to be together with due to certain constraints. I will always treasure each pat on my back, support and motivation that had been given to me during my up and downs during my studies :)
Barakallah again to all, may Allah pay you with rewards and blessings for being with me in getting through this quest of knowledge :)
:)
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