Ya Allah, Zurina begitu sensitif, over some matters that sometimes dun't request for air mata pun.
Zurina!! Apsal ni?
Just now i went to see my GM and he asked about what did i feel over my job. I said that i do have some brief pictures on what he wanted me to do, and it has become clearer to me especially after he presented his MCM presentation last 2 weeks to Dato'.
And he asked anything that i want to say after several presentation slides he had assigned to me?
I couldn't speak and suddenly i cried!! In front of him, and my mouth babbling about my dissatisfaction over his email yesterday. I explained to him that i have done whatever necessary and dun blame me on anything when the respective person didn't give me info,and dgn terus terangnya i apologized to him for kutuking him (ada ker istilah kutuking? Ntah..Paiji yang ajar) with Kak Fida semalam. I said that i became so bengang that i could not tahan my feeling and stormed to Kak Fida's place to release my tension.I know he won't get angry one if me terus terang kata i kutuk dia, dia lagi suka kalau org terus terang. Actually not kutuk pun, just mentioned the dissatisfaction about his e mail to Kak Fida,tu jek.
Pastu i said ler my opinion for whatever things that i felt was not correct (dgn linangan air mata nih), pastu GM kata dia tak sangka e mail dia buat me rasa terasa. Dia kata dia lebih suka tulis e mail dr berjumpa bersemuka sbb dia takut mcm my case ni ler, belum paper dah nangis. Sempat lagi buat lawak my GM nih!
After dah ok tu, dia terangkan why he sent me the email. He concerned if the trend from past years which long-long before i took place of the task to do reporting will continue, which he dun want the same thing keeps heppening and therefore he wanted to guide me to give better deliverables. Mostly on planning and getting information by setting up meeting whatsoever.
Oklaa, i am someone yg cepat ok and get over with something if i know the exact reasoning, but still tgk ler logic ker tidak.
Klakar, rasanya GM tak expect pun that i will cry in front of him. Tapi tak kisah ler,i'm not the first person yang menangis depan dia hehe. Nasib baik tak reply email berapi kat dia semalam, kalau tak ntah apa ler jadi nanti, but one thing i'm sure, the Mr XXX will apologize accordingly if i send the email since early morning semalam pun dia dah minta maaf from me for couldn't furnish the info (that was before i read the GM's e mail).
GM kata he trusts me to perform better since he perceived me as proactive and provocative.Provocative?? Mcm2 ler my GM nih assume, dulu kata me defensive, now provocative? Takpe ler, as long as it meant for good purposes. (I have to be provocative in mgmt meeting to get certain issues to be clarified and done by the floor, so that's why i dun mind he called me as provocative).
Isk isk Zurina, you are 25 now, and you are still crying like a baby? Isk isk, grow up!!
Apa pun, i felt relieved for i had voiced out my dissatisfaction, and i had apologized to my GM for kutuking him yesterday hehe.
Alhamdulillah, now i get more motivated to do my work back,and i have to prove myself that i can do better in near future insya Allah, to myself, not to someone else :)