Friday, April 22, 2005

Rasa yang bercampur2 di pagi Jumaat

Assalamualaikum wbt,

Pagi ini sesampai di ofis, sudah sibuk membuka laptop dan desktop untuk menyelesaikan slide presentation yang diminta. Tn Hj pagi-pagi sudah menghadap saya bertanyakan status slide untuk saya bentangkan pada pukul 11 pagi nanti. The slide is all ready, except for certain info dan gambar investigation.

Pergi ke tempat Midun sambil merayu minta gambar investigation (every month i have to beg for the investigation pictures, sbb derang kata utk dpt sesuatu hasil tiada jalan mudah, so mmg this is one way deraan mereka to me so that i won't get the info so easily, dun get them wrong, they are so nice, cuma nakal jek,suka mengusik org :)

Lepas 15 minit merayu, baru dapat gambar2nya, dan kemudian Midun bertanya ttg my assessment for bonus and increment. He mentioned that he did not satisfied with what several of us got for the assessment. I didn't say anything since me myself dunno exactly how much i get, and i dun even care pun as long as it did not go below the par.I believed Midun was in the same level as mine, it's just that he felt quite demotivated when he observed some of the managers which are not totally actively involved in operational duties, but yet managed to get higher marks compared to those executives that he felt are dying to complete all those tasks.

Due to that,he said he wanted to opt for MAS pilot, and if he cannot go, he will pursue his Master in UK with his wife, Fara insya Allah at the end of this September. I said to him, go if you have the chance, go if you see the benefits out there is higher compared if you stay with TM, if i have the chance, i'll do the same thing also. Again, this is not the issue of disloyalty here, TM is good and even Midun is quite reluctant to leave TM, but we also have to think about our career path and life satisfactions too, dun we?

When Midun told me that he feld demotivated etc, i kept quite and when i got back to my seat, this feeling of sadness came to me and my tears rolling down non-stop on my cheeks. It was really touching that somebody shared his own idea and his feelings that he seldom share with others but to you, and feel sad over his sadness and dissatisfactions towards certain things. I felt guilty for until now i did not yet succeed with my incentive program in FMD, and i do feel that these good guys are qualified to be rewarded for their hardworkings and success that always has become one of the most important tasks in FMD.

I am too perasa orgnya, as Kak Fari said, sensitive. If someone took care of you very well, had taught you so many things about life, had cheered you up from early morning until the end of the day, of course you will care about them too. And to imagine myself to loose these people like Midun and Zaki, Dz and Abg Is, is quite unbearable to me. Yet, the reality check has always says that we cannot hang to someone forever, we have to proceed and take whatever it needs for us to continue with our lives, happily or vise versa. The options is always open for us to decide, which way you want your life to be, sad or happy, good or bad etc. We are the ones to choose, guided by Allah of course (idea2 ini dipinjam daripada artikel2 motivasi Mudin my dearly brother in his blog, sure banyak pahala awak dpt yer Mudin biler org apply ilmu yang awak sebarkan, alhamdulillah :)

Walau apa pun, hari ini hari Jumaat, hari kebesaran umat Islam, pastinya tidak akan dipersiakan dengan perasaan sedih memanjang. Saya punya agenda hidup yang lainnya untuk memastikan kehidupan saya sentiasa berputar mengikut pilihan saya, iaitu untuk hidup gembira di bawah lindungan kasihNya :)

Ya Ar Rahman, nas aluka ridhoka wal jannah, wa na'uzubika min sakhatika wan nar.


Wassalam :)


Najmuddin Yusoff said...

erk? :-/
ade ker? kalau ade pun... bukan saye punyer tue... saye pinjam dari kata2 orang yg lebih arif. saye dhaif jek :)

IeNa said...

eleh adik akak,merendah diri pulak ;)