:)

Assalamualaikum wbt,

It's been a while that i opted not to write anything in here..i think the passion to blog is lessening now eventhough i have time to do so hehe.

Anyway, just nak update:

1. My youngest sister Aida dpt matriks Kulim Kedah, yang sebelum ini my younger sis Eqa and younger bro Ili dah pernah pergi. The first question yang ditanya straight away biler Aida told me abt the offer "Takde matriks lain ker kat Mesia ni yg boleh pegi? Asyik matriks Kulim jek sampai 3 generasi..haiyaa!!) Serius..cari ler matriks tempat lain..kalau pi Kulim tu..mmg giler sket sbb dia tak bagi keta parent naik ke hostel atas bukit..so kena naik van yang takde pintu..cuba bayangkan..kot kot ler tergolek tgh jalan tu tak ker naya. Tapi tu citer 5 6 tahun lepas during my younger sis's time..skang ni tak tau ler hehe.

2. Kes tergolek2 turun hutan kat Janda Baik during Mukhayyam Usrah MMU hehe. First time join Tamrin Qiadi..tapi alhamdulillah kali ni jadi faci, kalau jadi peserta mmg naya sebabnya mmg boleh tahan kejam gak ler senior2 Usrah ni...sian khemah bebudak ni 'dirempuh khinzir' padahal senior2 yg runtuhkan hehe..sebenarnya nak test kesabaran bebudak ni jek. Paling tak tahan sesi Night Walk..masuk hutan kol 12 malam..keluar hutan kol 6 pagi...addooii..tak pernah dlm hidup masuk hutan lama giler mcm ni. Ditugaskan jadi 'pengacau' bebudak yg lalu track..sandar bawah pokok and ingat bolehlah nak lena kejap..punyerlah tak boleh nk lena sampai terasa nak peluk pokok sambil cakap 'bilerlaaaa nak habis Night Walk ni..cepatlaaaa habis"..terasa mcm faci lak yang terseksa dr bebudak yg kena jalan dlm hutan tuh sbb dek lamanya menunggu event nk habis hehe, dahlah mengantuk dan dengan segala pacatnya..aiyyaa. Tapi kelakar gak ler bebudak ni kena kacau..ada gak ler faci yg kena pijak kat trek sbb bebudak tak nampak hehe.

Mmg pecah rekod dalam hidup..tergelincir turun dr hutan lebih 7 kali kot rasanya..giler hopeless jek rasanya...gara2 hujan sebelum Night Walk tu..and my sport shoes tak mencengkam tanah properly. Mmg bergolek2 ler dibuatnya hehe..tapi takpe..best. nasib baik the next day cuti gantian..rehat kat umah sbb body pun sakit2 jugak.

Best jugak sbb derang buat role play..tetiba dpt role kena jadi juri mcm Akademi Fantasia..hoho...terasa jadi mcm Ogy plak hehe. Apa pun..mukhayyam ni best..cuma kejam sket hehe..not only me yg komen mcm ni..Sarah Mamat pun commented the same...terasa sian jek bebudak ni kena buli hehe. Cuba bayangkan derang kena masuk hutan kena bawak Quran..huhu..kagum sekejap...Quran kecik takpelah lagi..ni Quran besar..haiyaa...lenkali organizer kena pesan bawa backpack kalau nak buat program naik hutan bawak Quran :)

Tadi isi borang e0filing LHDN..sian saya..tak pernah buat sebelum ni..merangkak2 and asyik tepon Kak Maz UIA (my MBA classmate) utk bantu.

Tadi kami satu ofis celebrate birthday GM kami, moga beliau murah rezeki dan panjang umur.

Ok guys..minta diri dulu...doakan yang terbaik buat saya k.

Assalamualaikum.

:)

Assalamualaikum wbt,

:)

Bestnya hari Jumaat, hari yg berkat.

Hari ini rasa tenang jek..and saya dpt bercakap dgn adik saya Eqa yg sdg bercuti di Tioman skang ni.

Salam buat semua :)

Al Insyirah

Assalamualaikum wbt,

(1) Pemergian ibu Kak Imah

Dah lama tak mencoret di sini, sedikit terbatas masa.

2 hari lepas Kak Imah, PA GM kematian ibunya. Inna lillahi wa'inna ilaihi raji'un. Moga roh ibu Kak Imah dicucuri rahmat Allah sentiasa.

Tabah dan tenang sahaja Kak Imah ketika kami sampai ke rumahnya di Melaka, sejurus jenazah ibu beliau dikebumikan. Kalau saya, entah..saya pun tak tahu, tak pasti boleh jadi sekuat dia atau tidak.

Kak Fida pula masuk hospital due to kidney infection. Pada awalnya kami ingin melawat beliau di hospital, tetapi dkejutkan pula dgn pemergian ibu Kak Imah. Terus kami bergerak ke Merlimau, Melaka. First time menjejak kaki ke sana.

Melawat Kak Fida di Ampang Puteri semalam, alhamdulillah sudah beransur baik. Kena tahan wad 2 3 hari lagi sehingga betul-betul sembuh.

Moga semuanya selamat didoakan. Semua yang berlaku adalah ujian dr Allah..semoga Kak Imah and Kak Fida tabah menghadapi segala ujian. Ketika saya mendengar berita pemergian ibu Kak Imah, saya menangis di dalam solat kerana terbayangkan sekiranya sayalah di tempat beliau yang kehilangan ibu saya, saya tak pasti apa yang akan berlaku. Saya tak pasti saya kuat untuk menahan dugaan itu.

Kematian itu sendiri merupakan satu pengajaran bagi kita yang hidup, saat kita entah pula tibanya.

"Ya Allah, ampunkan segala dosa-dosa kami yang telah lalu dan yang akan datang".

Ameen.


(2) Al Insyirah

Saya bebetul terharu dengan apa yang berlaku pada saya Khamis minggu lepas. Dan benarlah seperti firman Allah dalam Surah Insyirah,. ayat 5 dan 6 yang bermaksud ,. " Sesungguhnya bagi setiap kesusahan itu ada kemudahan/kesenangan".

Allahu Akbar!

Buat Adik Azrin, sabar...perbanyakkan sabar..insya Allah Allah akan beri keringanan. Allah beri dugaan tanda Allah sayang :)

Wassalam.

Maulidur Rasul

Assalamualaikum wbt,

Salam Maulidur Rasul buat semua.

Sekarang ini saya berada di Menara, menemankan Siha bestfriend saya berbincang dengan groupmatenya yang sedang bertungkus lumus menyediakan jawapan final exam. Lecturernya memberikan soalan final exam pada pukul 12 tgh hari ini, dan due date untuk submit balik jawapan final exam pukul 12 tgh hari esok (within 24 hours)...giler best boleh buat exam style mcm nih..sempat ler nk berbincang ngan geng2 camner nk jawab within 1 day. Kalau UIA, jgn harap ler dapat chance mcm ni. Terpaksa ler bertungkus lumus sebelum hari exam and predict soalan apa yang akan kuar and kami akan buat bersama2. Kalau tak kuar soalan yg kami target, nasib ler.

Semalam banjer Ika makan, kami berlima makan di Big Plate, Taman Melawati...Ika's favourite place. Banjer makan sempena Ika akan berpindah ke Melaka (dipinjamkan oleh TM ke VADS selama setahun)...ingat after banjer dia makan, kami akan tolong dia packing barang..tapi disebabkan kami sampai umah pun dia pun lebih kurang kol 11.30 malam..dgn perut yg sarat dgn makanan..ended up kami tertidur instead of tolong dia packing.

This morning dia ada event di sekolah dia..mengajak saya and Siha untuk breakfast dgn Rollie..tapi tak join since Siha pun ada final exam kol 12 tgh hari. I prepared breakfast sambil mendengar siaran TV mengenai Maulidur Rasul.

Entah..tetiba rasa sedih datang..especially melihat Nazrey (bekas penyanyi kumpulan Raihan) menyanyikan lagu nasyid mengenai Rasulullah dengan mata yang berkaca2..saya pun turut ternangis. Rasanya sudah lama saya hanyut dgn kesibukan kerja dan sebagainya.


Saya berharap saya akan menjadi seseorang yang lebih baik di masa akan datang.

Wassalam.


Al Mua'llim

We once had a Teacher
The Teacher of teachers,
He changed the world for the better
And made us better creatures,
Oh Allah we’ve shamed ourselves
We’ve strayed from Al-Mu'allim,
Surely we’ve wronged ourselves
What will we say in front him?
Oh Mu'allim...

Chorus
He was Muhammad salla Allahu 'alayhi wa sallam,
Muhammad, mercy upon Mankind,
He was Muhammad salla Allahu 'alayhi wa sallam,
Muhammad, mercy upon Mankind,
Teacher of all Mankind.
Abal Qasim [one of the names of the Prophet]
Ya Habibi ya Muhammad (My beloved O Muhammad)
Ya Shafi'i ya Muhammad (My intercessor O Muhammad)
Khayru khalqillahi Muhammad (The best of Allah’s creation is Muhammad)
Ya Mustafa ya Imamal Mursalina (O Chosen One, O Imam of the Messengers)
Ya Mustafa ya Shafi'al 'Alamina (O Chosen One, O intercessor of the worlds)
He prayed while others slept
While others ate he’d fast,
While they would laugh he wept
Until he breathed his last,
His only wish was for us to be
Among the ones who prosper,
Ya Mu'allim peace be upon you,
Truly you are our Teacher,
Oh Mu'allim..

Chorus
Ya Habibi ya Muhammad (My beloved O Muhammad)
Ya Shafi'i ya Muhammad (My intercessor O Muhammad)
Ya Rasuli ya Muhammad (O My Messenger O Muhammad)
Ya Bashiri ya Muhammad (O bearer of good news O Muhammad)
Ya Nadhiri ya Muhammad (O warner O Muhammad)
'Ishqu Qalbi ya Muhammad (The love of my heart O Muhammad)
Nuru 'Ayni ya Muhammad (Light of my eye O Muhammad)
He taught us to be just and kind
And to feed the poor and hungry,
Help the wayfarer and the orphan child
And to not be cruel and miserly,
His speech was soft and gentle,
Like a mother stroking her child,
His mercy and compassion,
Were most radiant when he smiled

Chorus
Abal Qasim [one of the names of the Prophet]
Ya Habibi ya Muhammad (My beloved O Muhammad)
Ya Shafi'i ya Muhammad (My intercessor O Muhammad)
Khayru khalqillahi Muhammad (The best of Allah’s creation is Muhammad)
Ya Mustafa Ya Imamal Mursalina (O Chosen One O Imam of the Messengers)
Ya Mustafa ya Shafi'al 'Alamina (O Chosen One O intercessor of the worlds)

1 April

Assalamualaikum wbt,

Akhirnya berkesempatan nak mencoret sesuatu di sini.

Seharian menyiapkan slide presentation Tn Hj untuk tujuan CAP di Johor dan Melaka..semalam menerima SMS dr Tn Hj, katanya mahu berjumpa pada pukul 8.45 pagi untuk discuss about my presentation material. Me sudah takut..ada rasa mcm mungkin akan kena marah sbb my slide tak memenuhi expectationnya.

Pagi ini terpaksa membatalkan hasrat untuk pergi training COMPASS di Menara. Terpaksa subcon pada Pn Hasiah RA, janji untuk belajar dgn dia Isnin depan. Keadaan memaksa untuk sacrifice trainin session ni..lagipun pernah join training COMPASS sebelum ini. Makanya sehari suntuk menghadap slide presentation, selepas berjumpa dgn Tn Hj. Alhamdulillah..ingatkan slide saya akan dapat bad comments, tapi alhamdulillah Tn Hj minta saya enhancekan sket statistics untuk Johor dan Melaka.

Tn Hj and the team akan ke Johor dan Melaka seminggu..betapalah rasanya ia satu rahmat kerana seminggu ini akan digunakan keseluruhannya untuk menghadap keperluan ISO. Waaa..banyak giler keje ISO kena buat..mau nangis dibuatnya.

Chaiyyo Zurina..insya Allah boleh..kalau tak boleh..pulangkan balik kat Tn Hj or QMR hehe.

Ok eh..nak lepak umah Mak Teh malam ni with my younger sistas..dah lama giler tak stay umah dia sbb kelas selalu Sabtu Ahad, tak berkesempatan nak lepak.

Tak sabar juga menunggu 1 April..my MBA batch buat re-union di KLCC...best2! Tak taulaa naper buat cepat sangat...tapi tak kisahlah..yang penting kitorang akan berkumpul balik..sure gempak re-union kitorang nih..cuma Kak Maz jek tak dpt dtg sbb adik dia kahwen...hmm..takpe..Kak Ika, Kak Win, Kak Yana and the rest akan dtg. Azwan masih di Dubai..rindu plak kat mamat sorang nih...for me dia nih considered budak nakal yg pintar..rindu plak zaman me, Kak Yana and Azwan satu group assignment. Mmg kitorang selalu buat grouping bersama sebelum berpecah specialization. Kak Yana ambil Finance, meanwhile Azwan and me took Strategic Mgt. Kalau mamat nih ada..sure mmg riuhlaa reunion kitorang. Zack plak tak dpt join..akn sunyilah sket Abg Man..tapi takpe..Am, Kak Yana, Kak Maz Leeds, Kak Win, Kak Ika ada hehe.

Ok eh..ilal li qa' wassalamualaikum :)

Surah Al-Asr

Surah Al-Asr

(EVENTIDE OR THE EPOCH)

Surah #103 Consisting of 3 Ayahs


بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِِ

In Allah's Name, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.



By the eons of Time!
وَالْعَصْرِ

Surely, Man is ever in a state of loss!
إِنَّ اْلإنسَانَ لَفِي خُسْرٍ

except for those who believe and do good deeds,
إِلاَّ الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ

and encourage one another to the Truth,
وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالْحَقِّ

and encourage one another to be steadfast.
وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالصَّبْرِ






والْعَصْرِ

By the eons of time!

In this Surah, Allah (swt) starts with the idea of the importance and power of time through the ages. Allah is saying that time never stands still. It goes on. We are running a race against time because whenever we do not follow the principles of Islam we shall be behind. It is only the spiritual part of us that can conquer time. After this brief introduction, God says:



إِنَّ اْلإنسَانَ لَفِي خُسْرٍ

Surely, Man is ever in a state of loss!

Allah says if man pays all his attention to material things, he will lose in the long run. Material things are only of some importance, but not the ultimate goal. To be influential can be important too, but it is not the ultimate goal either. If we are after possession and riches, if we are after power or reputation, we may stand to lose, since they are not the ultimate goals either.

What really counts goes beyond these material goals—it is faith. This spiritual part is most important, since it is the side of us that can lead to eternal bliss.

Here Allah is making a comparison of a materialistic loss to a spiritual loss. Because people understand concepts related to commerce, Allah puts this idea into a market value.

The Ayah says most people are losing, are in a state of loss in their spiritual state, just the same as someone might be constantly losing money in a commercial venture EXCEPT



إِلاَّ الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ

except those who believe and do good deeds,

The only people who will not be losing all the time are those who accept the Religion of Islam—who have faith in it and do good deeds.

Allah Almighty says man is a loser if he is only after material wealth and worldly aims. The person who wins is the one who truly believes in Allah and Islam, and does good deeds, he will earn Paradise.

Allah had mentioned those phrases in many Surahs because they are so important. The two phrases are:

Those who believe and do good deeds.

If a person believes in Islam and has full faith, he will improve himself and become a person of integrity. Rituals of the faith alone are not enough. It is doing the good deeds that complements faith, and both count high in Islam. Doing good deeds is highly valued. Doing good deeds is a form of worship. It is perform­ing the religious duties. Doing good deeds is practicing your religion.

Belief and good deeds go hand in hand, each complimenting the other.



وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالْحَقِّ

and encourage one another to the Truth,

Allah adds that the truly successful ones constantly are in a search for the Truth and encourage others to seek the Truth.

The successful are the believers who do good deeds, who encourage others to hold to the Truth and spread it.



وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالصَّبْرِ

And encourage one another to be steadfast.

A Muslim not only does good deeds and encourages others to adhere to the Truth, but will also encourage others to be steadfast in their belief in Allah. A Muslim will encourage others to think and consider, not to make haste, to have hope, and to have confidence in Allah. No matter what happens to a Muslim he knows that it is from the hand of Allah and that is the best for him.



THROUGH SURAH AL-ASR ALLAH WANTS US TO LEARN:

that time on this earth is extremely valuable, we should take advantage of it.

that we should put our time to good use and not waste it.

that if we do not use our time to advance our spiritual well-being, we stand to lose.

that the only people who are not losing or running behind are believers in Allah.

the truly faithful constantly help others and do good deeds.

that the genuine success is to look for and follow the Truth.

that the only people who are not losing are those who encourage others to hold on to their faith in Allah and practice patience.



Briefly said, Spiritual success comes through:

Ø Iman, or faith of Islam,

Ø Doing good deeds,

Ø Encouraging others to stick to the Truth and to spread it,

Ø Encouraging others to be patient and wait for what might show up.

Abg Roslan, Kak Fari dan ESQ :D

Assalamualaikum wbt,

:)

Ah..saya tidak tersangka akan menemui Kak Fari dan Abg Roslan setelah sekian lama tidak ketemu..Abg Roslan baru balik dr Arab Saudi atas urusan kerja..terima kasih Hany dan Zainal kerena mengajak saya bersama..rugi Ika tak dpt datang..kalau tak lagi meriah umah Kak Fari dibuatnya hehe.

Abg Roslan dan Kak Fari beriyer2 mempromosikan seminar ESQ pada kami...Emotional & Spiritual Quotient by an Indonesian speaker...next program will be at PWTC in April..the fee will be abt one thousand something...En. Budi had told me abt this program before..the one thousand tu is a life time fee sahaja..after this you can join future program at no cost at all :)

Kak Fari tak sihat..she's having Luphus (tak tau ler betul ker idak spelling ni)..Ika ajak lawat Kak Fari before dia balik Melaka ni..tell you what...she was so excited and happy biler kami lawat dia..siap kena peluk hehe. Bebudak DCBA...biler lagi nak buat plan lawat Kak Fari ni? Ehsan dah besar tau..hensem plak tu..Jannah pun dapat good result for SPM..tak tanya plak dia score baper..tapi excellent laa hehe. Kak Fari masak best malam tu.. Abg Roslan ramah bertanyakan 'kerjaya' Zainal as an OCD practitioner huhu...Jenal..ingat aa..buat program untuk Gen XY...kami ni kan customers awak..kan Hany, kan? Hehe.

Kak Fari intend nak buka sekolah..alhamdulillah..her nurseries are well known skang ni..Little Caliph..bagus sgt2..cuma Kak Fari kurang sihat skang ni..Kak Fari offer Hany keje..dr kol 7 sampai kol 1 jek..mcm best eh Hany..leh memain ngan bebudak huhu.

Nuha dah besar..tapi tak taulaa dia ikut muka saper..nak kata muka Hany pun idak sgt..nak kata muka Jenal pun..mcm takde iras huhu..Nufayl mcm biasa..comel mcm tu gak..rugi tak bawa camera..kalau tak leh snap gambar letak kat sini.

Semalam lepak umah Ika lepas treat my youngest sister and her friend kat KL...Siha takde sbb dia sibuk nak buat class presentation..kalau dia ada mg best aa weekend kitorang..Aishah and Kak Zura dtg sekali membincangkan plan kitorang yang belum boleh nak direveal kat sini..Ika siap buat plan besar kat umah dia..hopefully bleh join derang...mcm best giler. Kalau jadi..mmg best :D Kak Zura baring2 sbb dia tak cukup tidur semalam..tup tup tertidur. Last2 derang pun tidur sekali kat umah Ika..best best.

Plan esok nak pi umah Farah Wahidah..Jie pun katanya nak join..but have to be cancelled sbb ada bende nk kena buat..tgklah next week ker Farah..Jie pun dah start keje dah time tu..nanti leh lawat Mizie and Ida sekali..aku dah janji dah ngan derang kalau takde aral, kita nak pi melawat. Mizie kata lambat lagi nak hantar Ida balik Kelantan. Kita plan next weekend eh..moga2 plan ok. Banyak benda kita kena discuss ni :D

Ada satu kelas tafseer and Bahasa Arab free kat area Bank Negara..Ika pernah cakap dulu..semalam baru dpt brochure...mcm interested nak pergi..kelas free lak tuh..one whole day hari Ahad. Next posting saya sertakan sekali detail program..pergi reramai pun ok gak,kan..Ika dah nak balik Melaka..sure tak leh join..Siha pun ada kelas Master belah pagi..nampak gaya kalau jadi nak join..pi sengsorang ler nampak gayanya :)

Actually dah lama mencari kelas tafseer..tapi selalunya org ajar nak baca Quran..bukan tafseer Quran. Ni nak kena menanamkan azam nak pegi..rasanya nak ajak my auntie pegi sekali..dia pun suka kelas tafseer ni. Kitorang dah lama stop kelas Arabic due to my MBA class dulu...my auntie pulak ambil CIA paper..tak dpt nak bagi komitmen. Skang ni dah habis belajar..blehlah kot nak join balik kelas2 mcm ni. Rindu plak ngan UIA PJ skang ni.

Kak Maz and Jan sambung ambil kelas Derivatives under Dr Obay..actually plan nak buat subject audit..tapi biler Dr Obay cakap kena buat assignment and project paper, sama mcm bebudak lain..addooii..tu yg tak larat tu. Skang ni mcm dah tak larat nak buat assignment balik..penat aaa. Kalau ambil kelas Derivatives tu..kami cuma dapat exemption final exam jek..yg lain sumer sama ngan student lain. Ler..kalau dah mcm tu..baik tak yah buat audit subject..buat subject bebetul lagi bagus sbb dah alang2 kita buat assignment and project paper..baik ambil final exam terus. Tapi i mmg lemah bab2 subject Finance ni..otak tak dpt nak compute bagus sgt compared to other subjects. Kalau time subject Finance jek..mesti kena belajar lebih sket sbb takut fail. Compared to Accounting questions..sepanjang mana pun soalan..sesusah mana pun..at least blehlaa nak proceed and pk mcm mana nak buat walaupun tak sure betul ker idak..tapi kalau soalan Finance, kalau tak faham soalan dah satu masalah..biler dah tak faham soalan..tak tau nk proceed mcm mana, tu yg takut tu...nasib baik buat Finance under Dr Kameel dulu..senang sket hehe. And nasib baik jugak my classmates mmg terer Finance..Ai Ngoh, Kak Maz and Azrul mmg byk tolong ler..kalau idak..habis aa..hehe.

Aini..ko jadi nak ambil Islamic Banking,kan? Kalau ko minat,ambik jek..let say kalau dlm 2 minggu ko rasa mcm tak best..minta tukar specialization kat Mgmt Centre..derang leh considernya..tak yah risau :)

Aida..million thanks..jazikillah for your dedicated posting to me..saper bleh luper kita selalu bermarathon waktu belajar dulu..syukran for being so supportive..we all know each other very well..that's matter the most to me actually :)

Oklah eh..jumpa lagi insya Allah..assalamualaikum :)

Hati sudah kebal

Assalamualaikum wbt,

Lama dah tak bersua di sini :)

Alhamdulillah saya sudah tahu cerita sebenar mengapa kawan2 ofismate saya mengasingkan diri dr saya, gara2 kontroversi kisah saya ni seorang yg perfectionist.

Saya menghantar e mail pada dua rakan saya semalam kerana tak berkesempatan untuk menerangkan perkara sebenar pada mereka during lunch. Saya mengajak mereka lunch, tapi ditolak. Takpelah, saya memberanikan diri saya untuk menghantar e mail, beritahu apa kisah sebenar. And they replied back my e mail accordingly.

Rupanya mereka merasakan saya ni seperti membelakangkan mereka kerana saya ni perfectionist, and seperti menyinggung perasaan rakan-rakan. I have no idea actually how come this thing become an issue, but i believe semuanya berpunca drpd virus tak puas hati drpd seseorang di unit ini, dan kemudian menular kepada yang lain-lain.

Ketika diberitahu sedemikian rupa, saya rasa gembira coz at least they told me what they felt dissatisfied abt me, at least i'm no longer blur abt what is actually happening all these while..yet i dun agree abt some of their points saying that saya seperti membelakangkan kawan2 dan tidak put trust on them, just becoz i'm perfectionist. I do think i know myself better, and all these while i do trust them, kalau tak takkanlah spend masa sesama selama ni. Tak taulah mcm mana boleh jadi isu distrust ni sebenarnya.

Bagi saya perfectionist ini umpama membuat sesuatu sehabis baik, walaupun pada pandangan org luar takdelah bagus sgt, but for me i want my work to be sehabis baik, selagi saya tak puas hati saya takkan hantar kerja saya pada GM or pada lecturer kalau time saya study dulu. Saya tidak pernah bermaksud nak merendah-rendahkan kerja org lain. It was funny some people regard that one as satu statement menyombong diri, which i dun even have that kind of intention pun at the first place.

Klakar...tapi i apologize jer ler kerana at least mereka beritahu what they felt over me, i respect their feelings. Cumanya sekarang ini saya sudah belajar utk reserve certain things to myself only, takut2 disalahertikan lagi. Istilah perfectionist ini hanya timbul ketika saya berbual dgn seseorang di unit ini, di mana ketika itu saya admit bahawa saya seseorang yang perfectionist. Entah bagaimana istilah itu jadi satu kontroversi satu ofis, dan akibatnya jadi havoc begini. Pasti ada yang bercerita dan kemudian disalaherti oleh org lain. Saya rasa being perfectionist to my own job is actually takde bende, it is only a plain statement, tapi bagi org lain mcm berlagak ler pulak. Tak faham manusia ni kekadang. Orang maksudkan lain, lain pula yang difahami.

Baru ler saya tahu hati manusia ni berbeza-beza, ada yg buat muka manis di depan tapi menikam di belakang. Takpe, saya berlindung kepada Allah dr org2 yang bersifat hasad dengki sebegini. Selagi saya boleh sabar, saya sabar. Harap2 tiada doa buruk yg terkeluar dr mulut saya ketika saya terasa teraniaya sebegini.

Skang ni, hati sudah kebal, mungkin kerana saya sudah berbuat yang sepatutnya seperti minta maaf and buat penjelasan. Kalau lepas ni buat perangai lagi dengan saya, minta maaf, saya takkan terhegeh2 lagi nak minta maaf and clarify things, sbb dah malas. Kalau rasa nak terima saya, silakan..kalau tak nak..saya akan berbuat biasa sahaja. Asyik nak jaga perasaan org, org tak nak jaga perasaan kita. Bak kata Aniza waktu kami keluar sama dulu:

"Siti, kalau kita buat baik pun org kenakan kita mcm ni, baik kita buat jahat betul, hati tak sakit dibuatnya". Hehe, ganas eh statement ni..tapi mmg kekadang terasa nak gak buat mcm tu. Agaknya saya ni jenis lembut, tak melawan, tak reti nak melaser2 org..bolehlah dibuat sesuka hati.

Takpelah...saya ada plan saya sendiri. Sekarang ini matlamat saya ialah untuk memperbaiki prestasi unit saya...dan ada urusan lain yg lebih penting saya utamakan. Sehingga ini sahaja saya akan bercerita mengenai perkara ini, selepas ini saya akan mengambil tindakan berhati2 dengan siapa saya berbicara, dan tentang apa yang saya perbicarakan.

A quote dari GM saya ketika saya tersalah hantar SMS padanya berkenaan dengan adik saya yang risau tidak dapat ke oversea:

Gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man without trial.

Saya anggap ini sebagai dugaan dan ujian dr Allah, moga diberikan kesabaran. Lepas ni nk buat mcm Hany, kalau nak bercerita jer, kena bagi terms and conditions pada org yg nak mendengar, kena make sure dia faham bebetul citer supaya tidak disalahertikan lagi. Huhu.

Wassalam

Hati yang walang

Assalamualaikum wbt,

Saya sedang bersedih sekarang ini. Sedih kerana tindakan yang saya ambil dengan niat yg baik disalah erti, dan menyebabkan saya pula dimarahi dan dijauhi.

Tidak apa lagi, saya kira..kerana yang lebih menyedihkan saya rakan-rakan yang sudah berkawan dengan saya hampir 5 tahun, rupa-rupanya masih lagi tidak mengenali diri saya. Menyalah anggap bahawa saya gila kuasa, merampas post yang saya duduki sekarang. Sungguh, saya tidak pernah berniat mahu merampas post sesiapa, apatah lagi post rakan sendiri. Sekiranya post ini mahu diambil balik, ambillah dan saya sudi melepaskannya kerana cabaran dan amanah yang diberikan adalah besar, hampir tidak tertanggung oleh saya sebenarnya.

Sukar benarkah menyambut salam kemaafan sekiranya benar saya yang berbuat salah? Besar sangatkah kesalahan saya sehingga ada rakan yang dahulu bergelak bersama kini tidak mahu melihat atau mendengar suara saya lagi? Sejauh itukah perasaan benci terhadap diri saya?

Allah...Allah sahaja yang tahu betapa tergurisnya hati rakan sendiri berbuat begini. Bukan tidak pernah saya meminta maaf, walaupun saya tidak tahu apa kesalahan saya, tapi saya hulurkan juga salam kemaafan kerana sayangkan persahabatan yang pernah terbina. Sayangkan ukhuwah yang pernah terikat.

Sedih sebenarnya..saya tersepit di dalam tuntutan kerja dan persahabatan. Mujur staff bawahan saya mengerti kedudukan saya yang tersepit di antara 2, memujuk agar bersabar selalu dan memohon pertolongan dr Allah agar semuanya dapat diselesaikan dengan cara yang baik.

Walau bagaimana pun, saya bersyukur dengan dugaan ini, kerana kalau dibandingkan dengan dugaan saudara2 kita di Palestin, apalah sangat kehilangan rakan daripada kehilangan ahli keluarga. Apalah sangat rasa perit di hati dibuat kawan sendiri dari derita hati kehilangan anggota badan dek kerana perang. Dan yang paling utama, saya masih berada di dalam perhatianNya, bukankah itu yang patut disyukuri sebenarnya? Mungkin ini sebagai salah satu cara untuk menarik kembali diri saya yang sering lupa ini kepadaNya, bukankah ia sangat berharga sebenarnya? Sekurang-kurangnya saya tahu, saya masih di dalam perhatianNya. Sekurang-kurangnya dalam keadaan hati yang walang ini, saya kembali padaNya memohon keampunan dan keringanan dalam menempuh ujian ini. Syukur alhamdulillah, dan moga-moga Allah beri keringanan ujian ini ke atas saya.

Hanya doa sahaja yang dapat saya pohon, agar keadaan berubah menjadi lebih baik. Sampai satu detik semuanya kembali reda, akan saya terangkan pada rakan-rakan apa yang sebenarnya berlaku. Moga mereka faham bahawa saya tidak punya niat serong mahupun memandang rendah pada keupayaan mereka, kerana saya juga manusia biasa yang banyak kekurangan sebenarnya.

Doakan bagi pihak saya agar semuanya kembali pulih seperti biasa. Saya sayangkan rakan-rakan saya.

Syukran wassalamualaikum.

My grandma and Ika

Assalamualaikum wbt,

Saya sedang migraine, gara2 tak makan sejak pagi sehinggalah pukul 6 petang tadi baru dapat menghadap makanan, kerana sibuk menyiapkan slide presentation GM yang mahukan slide tersebut disiapkan by today. Yg menjadi susahnya membuat slide ni kerana insan2 yg sepatutnya beri saya input on last 19 tak hantar input, and today pulak mereka bercuti..saya terpaksa mencari input sendiri sbb nk kena siapkan slide GM by today. Tu yg susah sket tu.

Cuti 4 hari berada di kampung Batu Kikir, menziarah nenek saya yg sdg uzur. Rumah tak putus2 orang datang berkunjung. Semua ahli saudara pun balik..terasa mcm balik Raya pula kerana semua org berkumpul di rumah nenek. Alhamdulillah nenek saya dah tak sebut2 lagi pasal mati...tapi everytime i looked into her eyes, i turned my gaze away..coz saya tak nak lihat matanya yang merenung saya dgn pandangan yg lama dan sayu. I felt sad coz i never have experience someone close to me pass away except for my cousin who passed away during his sleep, and my great grandma who died for sakit tua. I pray to Allah to let my grandma live longer, she's a good woman. She was hospitalized from last Monday to Thursday coz she was so weak, and my auntie brought her home at Batu Kikir on Friday. On Saturday morning, my family and i went back to Pilah and gathered with our relatives at kampung. They had a kenduri Yassin for my grandma on the previous nite.

On Monday nite, we had to rushed her back to hospital coz she cried in pain. All of us were scared actually. Luckily doc gave a medicine and asker her to rest. Since i was at kampung on Saturday till Monday, people were non-stop came and visited her. Jenuh jugaklah asyik membancuh air utk tetamu..but it was ok, i had chance to meet all sedara mara jauh yang tak pernah jumpa sebelum ni.

Kejutan yg amat biler Abg Razim Faris datang menziarah menemani Datuk Khalid Yunus (he's my father's cousin actually)..kelam kabut mencari tudung sbb tak sangka boleh berjumpa di kampung. Abg Razim dah gempal sket hehe, org kuat IBM. Tgh sibuk buat air, tgk2 dia dah balik. Dia kena balik KL cepat sbb nak jumpa Sir taekwondo kami kat MMU dulu and Robert (our taekwondo mate) di Melaka. Giler sayang Sir Abg Razim ni..tapi mmg Sir kami tu baik..very understanding and best.

Ok yer..doakan nenek saya sembuh..really pray for it.

Ika, whatever happens..uhibbuki lillah..jgn luper aku and Siha biler dah berjauhan nanti...apa pun dugaan yg datang, atau jarak yang memisahkan..takkan ada yg dapat merobohkan our friendship, insya Allah selagi Allah memelihara persahabatan kita..kan Siha,kan? :)

Sedih Ika kena transfer balik Melaka..saper lagilaa yg boleh masakkan daging black paper best mcm Ika, and prepare candle light dinner for me and Siha? Tak bestnyaaaaa Ika takde kat KL!

Ok eh..terpaksa stop sekarang, jumpa lagi insya Allah.

Assalamualaikum :)

Yeay, i'm done with my MBA!! :D

Assalamualaikum wbt,

Subhanallah walhamdulillah...i'm back from a long break from writing..with a good news to all...i'm done with my MBA!!! Alhamdulillah and shukr for many2 times to Allah for this :D

Do you all know how relieved i was on last Saturday, that i had seated my final and last examination for my entire MBA course, which took about 2 years and 8 months??

It was a total relief, like a huge stone was lifted from my shoulder.

I'm not saying that taking MBA is troublesome, of course it's not. It's just the burden that comes while you are doing it, especially when you are working. Man, the idea to quit MBA during my tension periods occured 3 times, when the pressure level had reached its limit that i cried several times due to unbearable hecticness to cater for the study and workloads.

I know i have no kids to take care of which some people may argue about my complaints whatsoever, but actually my job consume lots of my commitment because i'm dealing with GM, if you dun believe me, ask Hany, Ika or Farah who had been in my place before me, they know how it feels like, truly.

I wish all the best to Aini and Yati, you two can do it eventho you have kids to take care of. Allah has determined what is best for us. If He has opened up the path for you two, or anyone of us to further study, it means you can do it. Allah won't test us beyond our own capacities, right? :)

2 years and 8 months, it's a quite long journey actually. Deep in my heart, i treasure most of the memories that have been written during my entire course. I get new friends, new experience and new knowledge. I'm proud to be among UIA MBA family, though the challenge is quite big for me.

I still can remember my first semester in UIA, where we had to stay in UIA until 1 morning to finish up our group project during that time. I had no idea that my last semester in UIA will end with kinda similar experience.

My groupmates and I did not expect that our last semester to be so demanding actually. As- Shariah and International Finance had drained our energy and time a lot. We never been so dedicated in our study except for this semester, highly due to our lecturers, Dr Obay and Prof Aslam who are very good, and quite scary in terms of their high expectations.

International Finance exam went very well, eventho i am not sure whether i can score or not. Experience of Kak Win and Kak Yana which had gone thru this course earlier from us, had told that Dr Obay's paper is tough. Indeed, i was blaming myself for taking this paper while doing past year papers because all the questions were so tough. Luckily, we managed to discuss last minute before going into the exam hall, and most of the questions were similar to the past years and exercises done in the class.

And yeah, for As Shariah..this paper is funnier actually. For almost 2 years and 8 months in UIA, we never give a thought to do any academic writing. We submitted our assignments, group projects whatsoever with our own common format, and do not even think to insert footnote whatsoever. And during this our last semester in UIA, we were required to do so by Prof Aslam. It was really an academic writing, where you have to do literature review and give your comments on those papers. We submitted twice for the As Shariah paper, coz the first one was not in correct format of an academic writing, luckily Prof Aslam returned our papers and requested for re-submission so that we could improve our marks, which mostly lacking in the format part. Hehe, he is a very nice lecturer :)

As-Shariah really introduced us to the real meaning of being a Muslim, and what responsibilities that come with it. I've been reading a lot about Islam, responsibilities about being a Muslim etc before this, but not so much that really stick like glue into my brain and heart. This course really made me internalized what Islam is all about actually.

One of the good discussion about this course coz it discusses about the malaise of ummah today, which is actually due to the confusion of interpreting knowledge, that are prolonged being prescribed to non-Muslim or westerners worldview. One of the the solution to overcome the backwardness of ummah is to islamize the knowledge in accordance to Quran and Sunnah. I wish this objective could become true on day, there are lots of thing to be done to achieve this, insya Allah.

When i finished the As Shariah exam paper, i felt sad coz i really felt that course has taught me a lot :(

Rite after my last exam on Saturday, I went to Putrajaya to visit my grandma who had stroke couple of weeks ago. My grandma stayed with my family about 1 week before my aunties took turn to take care of her. When i visited her that night, she did not speak anything at all, but the next day when i went for second visit, she asked me to pray for her coz she felt that she will not live any longer. I cried straight away when she asked me that. When my parent wanted to leave becoz we had to attend a neighbour's wedding, i kissed her and cried again.

She is a good grandma, never scold me and siblings eventhough i think we are the most naughtiest grandchildren of her. Never complaint eventho my family always prefer to have our Raya at my another grandma's hometown in Pedas coz we have lots of friends and familiar relatives rather in Pilah. I think she felt sad a lil bit coz it seems that we are biased to Pedas, but she never show it to us. Siblings and I always reluctant to go back to Pilah coz Pedas is nearer to KL, it only take about 45 min to 1 hour rather than Pilah which will take about 1 1/2 or 2 hours to arrive, plus with the Bukit Putus snake-look alike-road where most of the times make us feel like to throw up in the middle of the road. We are so bad, rite? But lately my mother always asks us to go back to Pilah to visit my grandma (before she get stroke) coz she concerns about my grandma's health. I couldn't go back frequently coz i had weekend classes before, so this is the right time for me to take care of her after i had completed my MBA. Pray for my grandma ya, i really want her to be healthy again. She is 90 years old now, but i still want her to live for another 100 years more :)

Guys, i am very happy coz i had completed my MBA, lots of people asking whether i want to continue PhD or not. At the moment, my answer will be no coz i want to have a break from study first. The tiredness is still there, let me catch my breath first, concentrate on my unit performance where i couldn't do much before due to my study previously, serve my grandma and get back to Nisa' after a very2 long break which had costed me lots of improvement and exciting activities. Kak Mas and Nisa team will be very happy to listen to this hehe. Ika, if you want to ask me to go shopping or a vacation with you, i may serve you anytime :P (except if i have important meetings or priorities ya!)

Alrite, i have to stop now, tomorrow i will have a business presentation in which i need to make some preparations, so we'll meet again in some other time, insya Allah :)

Last but not least, barakallah to all those people who had given me support and motivation all these while, who had lent their shoulders and be patient with me for i had not reserved so much time to be together with due to certain constraints. I will always treasure each pat on my back, support and motivation that had been given to me during my up and downs during my studies :)

Barakallah again to all, may Allah pay you with rewards and blessings for being with me in getting through this quest of knowledge :)


:)

Huhu

Assalamualaikum wbt,

List of assignments:

1. Project paper As Shariah - due 9/1
2. Presentation and submission group project As Shariah - due on 14/1
3. IMF Paper presentation for International Finance - due on 20/1
4. Case study International Finance - due on 27/1
5. Group Project for International Finance - due on 27/1
6. Final exam As- Shariah - 4/2
7. Final exam International Finance - 10/2


List of office works:

1. FMD Achievement in 2006 Report - due 8/1
2. Borang Prestasi Anggota Bukan Eksekutif - due 9/1
3. Workshop preparations (Form Business Challenge, FSME and Specialist) - due 11/1
3. Job Inventory FMD - due 12/1
4. Workshop in MMC - 16-18/1


Agak2 boleh bayangkan tak betapa tightnya masa saya nk cater for all these, with my staff is not here at the moment kerana pergi haji. Saya kena buat sengsorang.

Semester terakhir ni byk pulak project and assignment yg kena buat...dah tu kena pulak awal2 tahun yg mmg byk kena buat business planning.

Every week ada submissions. Habis exam International Finance on 10/2, insya Allah my MBA course will over! Tak tau ler nak ambil subject audit ker tidak sbb sekarang ni mmg terasa mcm tak sabar2 nak habiskan course ni...peritnyaaaa time nih..ingatkan dah tak rasa perit2 lagi mcm memula enroll course dulu, ditakdirkan last semester ni i have no staff, and subjects taken  for this semester ni byk pulak assignmentnya.

So harap boleh faham kenapa blog ini akan sunyi, tak taulah sampai biler. Rasa hampir2 tertekan sebenarnya..tapi mungkin sbb dah byk kali tertekan dulu-dulu and fikirkan ni semester terakhir..tarik nafas panjang2 jeklaa skang ni.

Doakan saya excel k.

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Wedding Sha

Assalamualaikum wbt,

Actually tgh buat training GEMS yg tak terkira modulenya..pening dibuatnya. Dah malas nak surf thru the on-line training module..esok ler sambung training hehe.

First in the morning, GM datang bilik tanya abt workshop in PD next 2 weeks. Esok ptg baru nk discuss dgn MMC, tak tau ler lagi mcm mana arrangementnya. But i have completed and submitted to him the presentation template to be used by all units in my division this afternoon. Report Sept-Nov pun dah submit this morning, yang tinggal cuma staff inventory 2007, Achievement Report 2006 and transfer letter for staff. Sumer due Jumaat ni and Isnin depan.

Raya lepas mcm biasa jek..tak balik kampung walaupun plan asalnya my mum ajak balik kampung ayah sekejap..i had class one day before and after Raya, so takdelah plan nak balik kampung pun sbb nk siapkan assignment yang duenya sumer dekat2. Sampai dah tak tau yg mana satu dulu nk dibuat.

My geng Halim hantar gambar yg kami ambil di majlis kahwin Sha and Zarp last Nov..both of them are my juniors and exco Usrah di MMU dulu. Sian Sam, pergi sekali tapi takde pun gambar dia. Mafus tak join coz dia ada hari keluarga time tu. At the majlis, sempat ler jumpa Mailal and junior yg lain. After majlis Halim, Sam and Ika sent me to UIA for my class before they went to openhouse kawan Halim, best ada geng mcm nih hehe.

Aini's son was smiling looking at the camera while his ummi and me were bz chatting about our studies

The three funky galz : Hainey, me and Ika :D

Rahimi smiling with his hero at our table, Syuhairah (Rahimi's zaujah) was not in the pic.

We with the newly-weds Zarp and Sha. From left, me and Halim, Zarp and Sha, Hainey and Ika. Sam was not in the picture cos he was the photographer.

Ok, nk pergi meeting Nisa' malam ni...later k.

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Salam Aidiladha

Assalamualaikum wbt,

Last nite i scolded my younger sister, now i feel bad for doing so. She didn't cook at home and i teased her for not cooking, telling her kalau tak nak masak baik tak yah balik umah and duduk jek kat kolej (i know it's seem a lil bit harsh but i purposely joking ok)..suddenly she got sensitive and raised her voice up to me..so apa lagi..mmg kena marahlah by me, lecture sedikit keras..now i feel bad coz i was the one who started the thing, and ended up i scolded her pulak. Dah ler dia ni perempuan melayu terakhir kat rumah tu..sensitif sungguh. Biler dah rasa menyesal ni..teringat ler plak kisah2 waktu i pernah marah2 my 3 lil sisters waktu me masih bebudak and tak matang dulu. Rasa menyesal giler buli derang waktu kecik2 dulu..padahal derangkan budak kecik lagi. Shouldn't done that at the first place. But i know despite that, i'm a good sister to them coz i rarely scold or pukul them..very2 rare coz they all semua actually tak nakal2..kalau degil biasanya i cubit jek..tu pun tak kuat sbb hanya sbg pengajaran. Plus, i always treat them outside and buy them new clothes, that's why they prefer me a lot compared to my sister and my younger sister Eqa hehe. Takpelah..pasni kena minta maaf kat dia.

Yesterday i had meeting with GM and all managers for staff relocation in my dept..ended up dr takde keje langsung tetiba berlambak2 keje nk kena buat. Haiyyooh..this is end of the year, time org sumer bercuti..i've got a handful tasks pulak from my GM. I need to organize a workshop in PD next month for our BP and KPI 2007. And yesterday my GM requested me to prepare a special report for our second big boss..i've done it last nite with lots of details, colourful graphs and elaborations, with assumption that it might give an adequate overview of our achievement for the past 3 months. 3 months ok..sorting out all figures and trends..lastly when i submitted to my GM this morning..he said my report is quite detail and wanted me to reduce my report from 15 pages to 5 pages only. Throw away several graphs and elaborations, and it should be fine for my big boss, he says. Addooii..it was not easy task to interprete so many data in hand, summarize them and present them as clear as possible in one report, suddenly kena throw away analysis. Sayang tau masa yang dah digunakan..tapi takpe..at least i know what is happening to my department at the moment..sebelum ni my staff yg buat report and i vet thru jek..tak sama kita buat sendiri statistics dengan vet thru report sebenarnya. Dulu when i used to make my divisional report..all statistics at my fingers..tanya jeklah apa pun, insya Allah bolehlah jawab dgn penuh confident. Skang ni biler my staff yang buat, baca report 2 kali baru boleh ingat betul2 dlm kepala. Tu pun kekadang terlupa, siap leh minta staff back up dlm meeting. Hehe. Itulah yang membezakan kemahiran dan kepakaran seseorang. Org yg membuat itu lebih pakar dr mereka yang tak membuat langsung.

Actually my hands are tight with 5 assignments, all need to be prepared by this week. I have 1 personal assignment and 1 group project for As-Shariah & Econs, and 2 case study and 1 group project for International Finance. Actually, i dun like Finance and all subjects that deals with calculations eventho my background is Accounting...Kak Win & Kak Yana..tolong!! Takut aa International Finance..everytime Dr Obay suh calculate tukaran wang asing..mulalah rasa nervous sbb mcm tak confident padahal calculation senang jek. Tak nak ambik aa subject audit Finance..ni baru International Finance..belum lagi Derivatives & Portfolio Mgt..camner nk buat nih? Dahlaa assignment mcm susah jek...kena analyse Balance of Payment for Malaysia and 80 pages of case study..ya Allah..membaca artikel 80 pages utk satu presentation for 25 or 30 minutes only..pastu dahlah susah..artikel IMF mengenai Central Bank Autonomy..we have to analyse the relationship between Central Bank Autonomy with other several variables like inflation level and political autonomy. Subject mcm best, tapi mcm susah jugak. Saper2 yg keje bank especially Bank Negara will benefit most from this subject. I'm thinking to join Bank Negara or KLSE kalau tak dpt jadi lecturer..so nampak gayanya kena gak ler belajar Finance. Aduh..kuatkanlah semangatku Ya Allah.

:)

Today is a good day..hari Jumaat..hari yg penuh berkat, i should be very happy for being able to breathe and still alive to seek for forgiveness from Allah and from those who i had mistakenly did something wrong.

Saya minta maaf pada semua ada salah dan silap. Ingin diucapkan Salam Aidiladha kepadas semua semoga kita menghayati apa erti sebuah pengorbanan dr perspektif Islam yg sebenar.

Wish good luck also to Nisa' team for the Nisa' Games..i couldn't extend my hands at the moment due to my studies, insya Allah after habis study, berkesempatanlah insya Allah untuk bergerak kembali bersama secara lebih produktif.

Oklah yer..jumpa lagi insya Allah. Selamat hari Raya :)

Assalamualaikum warah matullahi wabarakatuh wa maghfiratuh.

Gambar2 mendamaikan

Assalamualaikum wbt,

Subhanallah...cantiknya gambar2 di bawah. Sgt mendamaikan :)

Impian hidup

Assalamualaikum wbt,

:)

Rasa bersalah pulak sbb rasa bengang kat ofismate saya di dalam posting terdahulu..manusia tak pernah lepas dr kesilapan..tapi saya tak nak removekan posting saya tu..biar jadi satu catatan buat diri saya bahawa saya pernah mengalami cabaran di dalam bekerja hehe.

Kita selalu fikir bahawa masalah kita yang paling besar dalam dunia ni, sedangkan sebenarnya banyak isu di dunia ni yg lebih memerlukan perhatian.

Entah, mungkin kerana terlalu sibuk dengan kerja dan belajar...saya sudah lupa untuk melihat dunia ini dari sudut dan angle yang biasa saya buat dulu. Menghargai keindahan dan kegembiraan yang wujud di dalam pelbagai dimensi kehidupan..tidak kiralah dr sudut rohani dan sebagainya. Saya yang dulu terasa seperti ingin berlari menghadap dunia..ingin mencari makna kehidupan dengan cara saya sendiri..yang saya gambarkan umpama pencarian erti hidup yang diselangi dengan kegembiraan dan keseronokan kerana mendapat pengalaman dan pelajaran hidup.

Kini, terasa diri sedikit penat dan tidak berupaya untuk lari seperti dahulu. Tapi sungguh, saya tidak mahu semangat itu hilang dr diri saya. Saya masih ingin belajar mengenai kehidupan ini sebanyak-banyaknya, tanpa melupakan destinasi abadi saya di dunia sana. Menikmati kehidupan ini sepuas-puasnya..dan demi itu saya harus kukuh dengan apa yang saya sematkan dalam hati..yang sudah terbayang dan ingin saya tuju satu hari nanti.

Saya ingin bebas dari segala ikatan yang mengikat diri saya untuk membuat sesuatu yang saya inginkan dalam hidup.

:)

Erti seorang kawan

Assalamualaikum wbt,

Saya baru kembali dr teambuilding FMD, alhamdulillah semuanya berjalan dgn baik,kecuali ketika di sesi closing of the ceremony due to my own weakness sbb first time jadi organizer program kat FMD ni, being a someone yg perfectionist, sedikit terkilan sbb ada sedikit kecacatan di dalam program yang saya organize ini..tetapi saya juga patut menerima hakikat bahawa manusia itu tidak sempurna..kena menerima bahawa kita ini ada kekurangan dan kelebihan tersendiri. The best way ialah menerima kelemahan diri dan kemnudian memperbaiki diri di masa hadapan.

Di program tersebut saya ternangis di depan semua staff FMD, kerana menerima satu nota drpd groupmate, seorang kawan yang pernah rapat dgn saya dahulu, dan kini tidak lagi…saya sendiri tidak tahu kenapa dia menjauhkan diri dr saya. Saya menangis bukan kerana nota itu sendiri, tetapi kerana sender of that message himself. Kami satu kumpulan di teambuilding, tapi tidak berbicara seperti yang sepatutnya. Masing2 senyap kalau tiada perbincangan yang perlu membuat kami berbicara.

Telah lama saya sedar sikap beliau yg menjauhkan diri, malah sebelum kami ke Sabah & Sarawak pada bulan 6 yg lepas. Saya menghantar SMS, kad dan e mail memohon maaf pada beliau sekiranya ada kesilapan di pihak saya, tetapi tiada jawapan diterima. Beliau melihat saya tanpa senyum walaupun melalui hadapan bilik saya setiap hari untuk keluar masuk pejabat.

Pening kepala saya memikirkan apa masalah yg berlaku di antara kami berdua..mungkin saya tersilap bicara, tapi saya sudah meminta maaf walaupun saya tak pasti apa masalahnya.

Hari ini saya makan tgh hari dengan seorang ofismate yang sempat berbicara dgn beliau minggu lepas, and jangkaan rakan saya ini mengenai masalah di antara saya dan rakan saya seorang ini adalah disebabkan jawatan yang saya pegang sekarang ini.

Betul, saya akui saya sgt muda untuk memegang jawatan seorang pengurus di bahagian saya ini..tetapi saya hanya menerima tanggungjawab ini setelah insan yang sepatutnya memegang jawatan ini menolak awal2 untuk terus memegang jawatan ini kerana beliau tidak mahu berurusan secara direct dengan GM saya. Pada mulanya saya hampir2 menolak ketika ditawarkan post ini ..tetapi jawatan ini berkaitan dengan kerja2 yg melibatkan financial and strategy..being having accounting background, and I’m taking MBA at the moment berkenaan dengan Strategic Management, of course saya lebih meminati kerja2 ini drpd buat enforcement dan buat policy yang sepatutnya saya buat, tetapisekarang ini dibuat oleh insan yang menolak jawatan saya sekarang ini.Kami switch keje. She’s happy doing my original task, and myself also happy doing the financial and strategy walaupun bebannya sedikit berat dan tiada pertambahan gaji pun…tak kisahlah kan kalau gaji tak naik pun..kerana pertama saya lihat saya dpt belajar byk mengenai pengurusan, dan kedua saya mmg suka buat financial...saya sgt rindukan kerja2 Accounting ketika saya berada di bawah Legal & Account dahulu, and sekarang saya dah dapat, takkan saya nk lepaskan pula. My GM is being considerate to me by giving me an exec to assist me in running my unit, alhamdulillah.

Tapi tak sangka ada insan yang tidak suka saya berada di jawatan ini. Mengatakan it was an unwise decision to do the job and accept the responsibility..and I dun deserve this position becoz i'm too young. I love this job actually. By doing this job, I have the opportunity to learn new things that really interest me rather than doing investigation. Mmg menjawat position ini saya menerima byk kelebihan like having my own room yg besar, dapat pakai laptop yg hanya disediakan untuk manager dan investigator sahaja di bahagian saya ini, dan sering kena panggil berbincang dgn GM and other managers, tapi bukannya saya yg minta this post at the first place. Sekiranya insan yg patut menerima jawatan ini tidak menolak post ini awal2 dahulu, or even kalau dia mahukan jawatan ini dipulangkan kepadanya kembali..saya tiada masalah untuk mengembalikan post ini kepadanya.

Saya juga dapat tahu bahawa ada yg tak puas hati kerana saya dah tak huha lagi mcm dulu. Bagaimana mahu huha kalau kerja direct bawah GM yg biasanya terpaksa membuat kerja2 yang urgent..kemudian ditambah lagi dengan study saya. Kekadang time takde kejelah saya mencari bahan di Internet atau buat assignment, atau baca buku. Tiada masa sgt nk huha2 mcm saya jadi exec di Legal & Account dulu. Agaknya mereka terasa seperti saya ini mengasingkan diri, tapi nk kata saya mengasingkan diri pun tidak juga coz saya berjalan2 juga ke unit lain atau jumpa staff saya. Cuma mmg bukan perangai saya nak buang masa berbual2 time saya tgh ada keje.

Biler saya duduk kat post ni, baru saya kenal siapa kawan sejati sebenarnya. Bukanlah sikap saya suka bergaduh…tapi kalau org dah minta maaf byk kali tapi tak sanggup nk maafkan, saya pun rasa bengang jugak, takkan mahu disembah baru nak maafkan kot.Lagi buat saya bengang sbb saya tak tau apa salah saya. Kalau bergaduh tau punca ok jugaklah kot, ni blur, tak tau apa citer.

Serious, saya tak suka kawan sebegini. Kalau tak suka, bagitau apa masalahnya so that I can clarify or rectify the things..ni menjauhkan diri terus, buat masalah lagi teruk lagi ada. Sekali kawan saya yang lain pernah buat begitu pada saya, saya lecture terus, bagi 5 6 SMS sekaligus. Dahlah time tu saya mmg tak bersalah tapi disalah anggap…mmg panjang berjela ler saya lecture. Tak puas hati cakap..bukannya dapat apa pun kalau pendam2. Cakap terus terang apa salah saya, then saya tahulah apa nk betulkan. Ntah apa2 jek. For me, seorang kawan adalah seorang yg sanggup tegur dan tunjukkan apa salah kita, supaya kita menjadi seorang yg lebih baik. Yg sanggup bertolak ansur walaupun dia tahu dia tidak bersalah dan berada di pihak yang benar. Saya sebenarnya tak pernah ada kawan mcm ni, yg jenis tak reti nk maafkan org. Seingat saya ketika saya di MMU dulu, saya pernah bergaduh dgn 2 org sahaja, iaitu Ika dan Abg Nafis. Gaduh ngan Ika tu, mmg salah saya sendiri, tu pun Ika sanggup buatkan saya breakfast before saya pegi exam padahal time tu kami tgh gaduh, punyerlah baik si Tikot ni. Ngan Abg Nafis..saya rasa saya gak kot yg jadi punca sbb saya over sensitif...kami tak bercakap juga beberapa minggu..tapi time tu saya tahu apa salah saya, and kami tak bercakap pun tak lama..ok balik sebab we were partner biro Usrah dulu.

Sampai sekarang saya berharap agar perhubungan saya dgn ofismate saya ni will get better soon..harap sgt2 actually. Kalau tak jalan juga, apalah yg saya boleh buat after 3 4 kali minta maaf, org buat dek jek. Pada awal2 dulu mmg tertekan saya dibuatnya..sbb saya sayang friendship kami yg pernah terjalin..sanggup minta maaf walaupun tak tau apa masalah sebenarnya. Skang ni..berdoa yg terbaik shjlah. Sudah malas nk layan perasaan, sbb biler layan saya jadi sedih..tu yg ternangis waktu kat teambuilding tu. Kalau dia tak suka saya duduk di post ini, apa yg boleh saya buat. Takkan saya nak minta dilepaskan jawatan pulak. Last resort, buat yg terbaik jerlah sambil berdoa semoga semuanya ok.

Manusia ini penuh dengan pelbagai karenah dan gaya..tapi takpe, at least by having this crisis, make me more mature mengenai pergaulan sesama rakan dan manusia.

Ketika dalam krisis ini juga, saya teringat Jenal pernah beritahu saya bahawa bukan semua benda yang kita buat kita nak cerita kat org (time tu Treasurer SRC kami merajuk ngan dia time buat program College), baru saya faham maksud dia yg sebenarnya. Kita berdiam diri dan senyap, pasti ada sesuatu sebab cthnya keje/study..tetapi takkanlah kita nak heboh2 kat org kita tgh buat apa yang sampai buat kita senyap dan kurang bergaul dgn org.

Oklah yer..jumpa lagi…actually nk citer perkara2 yg best..tapi terkeluar citer yg tak best..biar saya luahkan kat sini sbb lepas ni saya dah malas nak ambil pusing lagi pasal hal ni..you do your own job, and i do mine..saya takdelah kejam sgt..tapi bengang gak ngan org yg berperangai mcm ni..dah ler sy tgh migraine ni. Sabarkanlah hati ini Ya Allah...moga sentiasa sabar dan bersangka baik dengan org. Susah nk berlapang dada ni sebenarnya, especially kalau kita rasa kita betul. Kalaulah tak ingat Islam mengajar supaya tak berdendam atau bergaduh, agaknya lama dah lidah ni jadi cepat laser, kerana sayangkan kawan dan tak mahu gaduh2, sanggup menahan telinga kena perli and sindiran yg tajam. Kalau tak fikirkan bahawa kalau jadi laser akan buat suasana lagi teruk, mmg cepat sahaja terasa mulut ini ingin menjawab. Syukur saya mmg berat mulut kalau part2 nak melaser2 org ni, sbb bukannya best pun main laser2 ni..nanti lagi teruk keadaan. Baik senyap and buat dek jek .

Hoping that my du’a will come true..tak perlu nak pening2 kepala pasal org lagi insya Allah. Ameen.

Saya nk minta diri dulu..kepala saya sudah semakin sakit.

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Seoul

Assalamualaikum wbt,

:)

Semalam join Scorecard Challenge Meeting for Group Finance, with GCFO as the Chairman checked and challenge one by one scorecard all divisions in Group Finance.My second big boss takde krn attend SmartOrange, so my GM and I had to attend the meeting to back up Group Business Assurance (GBA) Scorecard.

Petang tu had a discussion with Pn Hasiah on the BSC, and after that buat keje di ofis Siha sementara menunggu dinner di Seoul di Plaza Pantai.

Aniza joined us despite of sudden invitation...ajak juga Sam tapi dia tgh bz ngan keje..heran betul ofis Aniza and Sam ni..memalam pun masih aktif lagi..we went to Seoul with adik Siha...and there we had our dinner.

Best..yummy..and yg paling best sbb dpt jumpa Aniza..minah ni adalah satu2nya geng yang boleh usik and kenakan me all the time, we are close especially waktu kat Pre-U dulu..pastu i sambung degree di cyber, dia di melaka.

Semalam selepas dah lama tak cekik tengkuk orang..Aniza yg kena hehe,best best.

Next time Niza kalau nk kena cekik lagi dgn me..blehlaa kita kuar makan lagi hehe.

Alrite, nk pen off dulu..assalamualaikum :)

A Story To Read

Assalamualaikum wbt,

A story to learn about...(taken from Kak Sity's blog)

I took this story from Ayu... she got it from her good fren mayee... it is a sad story.. so caution to those with weak hearts :P ehhehehe
At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves learning disabled children, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question:

"When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?"

The audience was stilled by the query.The father continued. "I believe,that when a child like Shay,physically and mentally handicapped comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes, in the way other people treat that child."

Then he told the following story:

Shay and his father had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked,"Do you think they'll let me play?" Shay's father knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but the father also understood that if his son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

Shay's father approached one of the boys on the field and asked if Shay could play, not expecting much. The boy looked around for guidance and said, "We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning."Shay struggled over to the team's bench put on a team shirt with a broad smile and his Father had a small tear in his eye and warmth in his heart. The boys saw the father's joy at his son being accepted.

In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as his father waved to him from the stands. In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again.
Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game? Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible 'cause Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.

However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing the other team putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least be able to make contact. The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.The game would now be over, but the pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.

Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the head of the first baseman, out of reach of all team mates. Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, "Shay, run to first! Run to first!" Never in his life had Shay ever ran that far but made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.Everyone yelled, "Run to second, run to second!" Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to second base.
By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball, the smallest guy on their team, who had a chance to be the hero for his team for the first time. He could have thrown the ball to thesecond-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions and he too intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head. Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.

All were screaming, "Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay"Shay reached third base, the opposing shortstop ran to help him and turned him in the direction of third base, and shouted, "Run to third! Shay, run to third" As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams and those watching were on their feet were screaming, "Shay, run home! Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the "grand slam" and won the game for his team.

That day, said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world.Shay didn't make it to another summer and died that winter,having never forgotten being the hero and making his Father so happy and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!


Ternangis baca citer ni..ya Allah, Kau kurniakanlah kemudahan kepada semua ibu bapa yg mempunyai anak yang kurang upaya.



(2) Saya sdg organize teambuilding 2006 FMD for my division for this becoming 12-14 Dec 2006 at Ulu Pangsun..hehe..i had arranged exciting outdoor activities with consultant like war games, flying fox and rakit challenge..could not wait for this event..but i bet balik event ni..sure badan jadi mcm robot coz we have all outdoor activities in Ulu Pangsun. 1 kelas jek indoor, tu pun sbb nak time dh nk balik KL balik. Tn Hj suh arrange solat dlm hutan, tak kiralah time tu tgh basah kuyup baru lepas redah sungai atau tidak..huh..ganas betul my GM nih...siap kena kira markah plak tu..saper tak solat kena tolak markah, tak solat jemaah pun kena tolak markah..bagus bagus..time ni ler nak expose those yg tak pernah solat dlm hutan mcm mana nak solat kalau dlm keadaan darurat ngee ngee :D


(3) Saya baru habis mid term As Shariah..had a heavy flu time menjawab paper exam..dr mula menulis sampailah ke huruf terakhir..astaghfirullah..mmg rasanya ada among my classmates yg tergelak kot dgr saya bersin tak henti2...the exam was ok..nk kata senang pun ok jugak sbb sebelum hari exam tu, kami buat discussion on past year papers. Ketika solat Maghrib di masjid KLCC selepas balik discussion di UIA, mmg terkejut biler tetiba Ika and Siha tegur rite after me bagi salam, tak sangka lak terjumpa kat masjid tu...pastu kitorang round KLCC kejap sebelum heading to Big Plate,Taman Melawati for dinner. Tell you what, that was my first time berhuha sebelum nk exam, sebelum ni jgn harap ler nk sajer2 buang masa kalau time nk exam. Tapi maybe sbb dh buat discussion..ok kot. Malam sebelum exam tu pun i went to sleep early, woke up to revise my notes at 5.30 a.m. Siha tergelak biler dpt tau yg kami buat discussion hanya untuk mid term yg bernilai 20% jer dr seluruh assessment. Tapi percayalah, mid term nilaa yg membezakan kita akan dapat A ker tak..dahlaa UIA ni ada quota nk bagi A. Hopefully result ok, insya Allah. Habis exam Ika masak lunch kat umah dia, sebelum makan ambil ubat, lepas makan terus tumbang.

Petang tu ikut Siha pegi PIKOM kat KLCC, ingat nak usha camera, tapi disebabkan time mengusha tu pun less than 1 hour exhibition tu nk close, tak jadilah..usha lain kali. Tapi mmg habislaa sumer org counter camera tu diinterview sbb nak tau spec paling bagus. My camera skang ni nama jek my camera, tapi my younger sisters yg guna, bawak pegi sekolahlaa..asramalaa, kolejlaa..mementang kakak dia sorang ni jenis mmg tak ambil gambar selalu. Pasni kalau beli lagi sekali..saper2 nk pinjam kena bayar sewa..best gak,kan? Hehe :D

Oklah ek, esok nak pi join BSC Scorecard Challenge Meeting kat Menara..nk tgk
mcm mana sesi ni dijalankan..and time ni ler nk kenal all the big boss kat Group Finance ni.

Jumpa lagi insya Allah..assalamualaikum :)

BAKIT HELWA

Assalamualaikum wbt,

:)

I met Dr Faridah yesterday, rite after Scorecard meeting for HOD in Group Finance, i had to represent my GM coz he could not make it for the meeting. Meeting with all Head of Division made me so nervous during the meeting. They were discussing the rite measurements for divisional and Group Finance scorecards..all sorts of financial targets and ratios came out during the meeting, showing how expert all these HOD in accounting principles and Financial Reporting Standard (FRS). I was a lil bit excited to listen their arguments and discussion coz it was all related to accounting. I do miss all those accounting terms actually.

Alrite then, let's go back to Dr Faridah k.

I asked her honest opinion,should i go for lecturing. Dr Faridah was a lecturer in UTM before she joined TM to gain corporate experience.

It was nice to have a chat session with her. It was like a long long time ago, that i had a chance to talk like what i had went thru with her.

She asked me, what actually that i want to achieve in life?

:)

A nice question but a tough one :) We chatted and she shared some of her experiences becoming a working mother with 6 children, and pursued her doctorate part time while she was working in TM Net a few years back. Nice talking to her actually :)

During towards the end of our discussion, she raised her concern to get the young executives to join BAKIT HELWA TM. I encourage you all (those working in TM) to join BAKIT, they really need youngsters like us. Let's lend our hands to them, for the sake of Islam :)

I had made a promise to her to inform my usrah friends about this. So to muslimah TM out there, do join BAKIT HELWA ya. For guys, you can always join BAKIT.

I need to stop here, i need to read my As Shariah book since i'll be having a mid term exam on this becoming Sunday. I haven't read even a single page, praying to Allah to help me to get thru this exam with excel.

Pray for my success k, ilal liqa' wassalamualaikum wbt.

:)